Not content with running about with foam around their mouths and ranting and raving about ‘downtrodden’ women and how women should be banned from wearing burka or niquab or hijab in clothing, Danske Folke Party (the Danish ‘Peoples’ Party) are now going after the kaftan.
Politiken have written about it in Danshish, but for the benefit of the wider public, who pretty much have as much a right as any to hear this shit, here it is translated into English. Feel free to pay me for distributing your news to subsections of the Danish community, Politiken.
It’s not a perfect translation and more of a tight interpretation:
When the Danish Queen invites Danish Members of Parliament to a court ball it tends to be a show of good style and correct dress.
But last week, when the 179 MP’s were invited to a court ball with the queen, Socialist Folkeparti’s Kamal Qureshi turned up in a ‘clown costume’. Well, a ‘clown costume’ as far as the Danske Folke Party’s candidate and press officer, Kenneth Berth, is concerned anyway. He is offended that Kamal appeared at the Queen’s Ball wearing traditional Pakistani garb sticking out amongst all the other men dressed in tuxedos.
GRASS SKIRT NEXT TIME?
“Although the queen invited the MP’s to meet up in formal dress, Kamal insisted for the second time in a row to turn up in a ‘clown costume’ in the form of a Pakistani kaftan” wrote Kristenbollox Berth in a letter to the world renowned broadsheet ‘Ekstra Bladet’.
The Danske Folke Parti spokesperson then got to wondering, what in the world this tendency could develop into!
“If everyones just gonna do what they feel like, what’s gonna be next eh? Grass skirts and tennis socks? Burkas?????!!??? Long arm sweaters in the summer sun?”
But the Queen’s Spokespeople spoke out in support of Kamal’s outfit. They said they were alright with it. Alllriiight. They said they were glad that everyone turned up for the party, that it was a smashing night, and that you know, it would be a bit fucking weird to start telling them what to wear.
But the Danish ‘Peoples’ Party, spokespeople for the Denish Way, spoke on and outwards. What is so offensive about a freaking kaftan Kenneth? Come on, out with it!
Danish Politicians on their way to a Royal Ball.
“What is bothering me is not the kaftan as such. What is bothering me is that the kaftan is hanging off a Denish Citizen. When someone is living in Denmark, the land of the frikkadella, and yet wearing a garment that hails from somewhere that is the land of the spicy, that says to me that that person is not feeling at home in Denmark, and perhaps doesn’t even like chewing frikkadella, and should therefore, without no further ado, return to Pakistan, or take said dress off and run naked in the streets to be tarred and feathered and put in the stocks and pelted with rotten tomatoes, for wearing a spicy country thing in the first place at all!!”
DFP ‘person’ went on: “When you are a Danish citizen, this means that you should wear the same clothes as everyone else, i.e: the so called ‘penguin man’ evening wear so popular with the snobs and idiots here, or on lighter days, perhaps some Jack Jones dark blue denim jeans with a sports top, and a gay haircut, or for the middle aged: golfing style jumpers, or hunters wax jackets. For women this means ‘free’ clothing, so we can see the shape and undulation of the female body, because female bodies in Denmark are free and NOT covered, and this is why we eat frikkadella, because this is DENMARK! Not Pakistani.” Said Kentwat Bumfiddley of the Dunsk Filke Purty.
The queen’s invite did indicate that national dress was welcome, but this was directed at the people of Greenland, Fyn and Horsens, apparently, according to the DFP.
Kenneth ‘Your Mom’ Blaadklat of the DFP then went on to say something like:
“When a Danish MP dresses like he is from Pakistan, it doesn’t look like he is representing Denmark, it looks like he is from Pakistan. Can’t he also do something about his skin tone? He doesn’t LOOK Danish for crissakes. Bleach him. When he is voted into the Danish Parliament, then he has to represent the Danish Parliament. The Danish Parliament represents people who look like other Danes or people dressed as Penquins, but NOT people dressed in Pakisani clothes.
In short: no place for pakis in Parliament. If you are a paki, then for fucks sake dress up like a penguin, and not like a paki, at least till we can come up with a law to ship you and your family out of here for not paying your library fines.”
CLOWN COSTUME? Are you sure you want to call it a clown costume?
“Yes” Said Konnott Bigshit, DFP person, “I want to call it a clown costume, because he is a clown, a big fat pakistani clown who will ruin everything for the Danedanes who are OFFENDED by the unusual and the dreaded UnDansk.”
“EVEN THE GAYS WOULDN’T BE SO BOLD!”
“Sure, we have gays in Denmark, but you wouldn’t catch them prancing up to dinner with the Queen wearing a dress. Unless they were pakistani gays, and then, well, you know, we’d really have to put a stop to that, or write a letter to a newspaper about it.”
In conclusion, Kenshit Backwad of the DFP finished with this flourish:
“The guy is doing it for attention. He’s wearing a dress, to visit the queen, because he always wants to be the center of attention.”
Um…Yes, right. Woah! Way to go Denish Way and the DFP! You are so on a roll!
Proper clown face.
