Helping you with your Dannish: LETTERS and GERMANY.

You need to know that the letter ‘W’ doesn’t exist in Dannish, but that they compensate for it by having five extra letters:  ‘¤’  (pronounced:  ‘aoooawoo’),  ‘§’ (pronounced ‘uuuuurrrrrrrrrhhhuu’),  ‘æ’ (pronounced: ‘aaaurgh’),  ‘%’ (pronounced: ‘oow’) and ‘ø’ (which is pronounced the same as you read it).

Don’t worry, you WILL get the hang of it eventually.  You just have to give it some time.  Try to be part of the solution, and not just a problem.

In Denamark, at birth all children are stamped with a number and are tested to see if they are ‘A’ people or ‘B’ people.

If you haven’t been tested yet, it is wise you get tested as soon as possible, otherwise you won’t know what sort of a person you are.

In layman’s terms an ‘A’ person is someone who likes to get up early and stay up really late and a ‘B’ person is someone who likes to go to bed really early and get up really early.   Until 1991 there was a type C, that being someone who liked to empty the contents of cigarettes onto a foil tray and burn it, then use the scorched dried tobacco to make horrid second rate joints out of the cheapest flat press available,  but that all died out when every body grew up and got proper jobs as sagsbehandlers. Or went to college to be pædagogs.

So now it’s just A or B. It’s important you understand the system because otherwise you won’t know what you are.

It is also meget meget important you understand a little of how Denmark was shaped before you go opening your mouth about all that Flagism.  Denish are highly proud of their flag and there is a reason.  The war with Germany in 1898 meant that Denmark lost a huge chunk of it’s land. This had to hurt.

It is a little known fact, but true.  There was a big war and Denmark lost half of Denmark and now it belongs to the Germans. In a vengeful mood, the Danish made a law that prevented Germans from buying summer houses here.  Any more.

It is a little known fact that the Germans had planned to take over Denmark once more,  by buying up all the summer houses (summer houses constitute two thirds of all buildings in coastal Denmark, one third in rural areas and a half a third in urban areas).  But they were thwarted.

But this doesn’t explain why there are so many German newspapers being sold in the Summer House neighborhoods.  There are many.  My suspicion is that Germans are somehow slipping into Denmark and RENTING all the summer houses in lieu of buying them up.  Somehow they always win over Denmark whatever happens,  because this means, they get to stay here, read their newspapers wander round naked and gobble their huge sausages and then leave without having to wipe the grease spots off the bedheads and door mantels.

Personally, I think the best thing to do would be for Denmark to take back the bit of Denmark stolen by the Germans.  What we need is a local war.  This would solve so many problems.  The immigrants would suddenly be wanted if conscription was brought in (link to Danish Newspapers covering how Immigrants breed like rabbits),  and we would all club together.

I say, move all the summer houses to the southern part of Denmark, and then once all the Germans are in, lets turn it into a high security prison camp and hold them hostage until we get what is ours back!

Give us Denmark back!

Danish Government to give 15,000 kroner to foreign women, if they learn to be Denish.

The Danish Government want to give foreign women 15,000 kroner to learn more about Denish and Denish FreeSpeechDemocracy. They will get the money once they have learnt the following important steps:

• freedom
• demoncracy
• julfrokost
• barbering
• bleach
• suntan
• pork
• sommerhus
• gummistovler
• komfuret
• sild
• skt hans
• skilsmissebarn
• jooolafTEn
• min mor
• farvel!
• hvorfor ikke?
• oi!  For Søren!
• hvad sÅ?
• p#rn
• så så

From a podium, Søren Mads Mikkel Jens Hansen Sørensen of the Danish Government said: “We are not going to get involved in people’s lives and families, but we will offer some cash that the foreign women and their husbands will understand.  So right now, on the table, we’ll offer 100,000 kroner to the foreign husbands who haven’t got a chance in hell of sitting through a full JulAften dinner with our mothers,  if they will get out of Denmark and not come back.  And we will offer 15,000 kroner to the foreign wives, because after all, you can still marry them, some of them are quite good looking, and my mother can eventually teach them to make æbleskiver the good old Danish way.”

Søren Mads Mikkel Jens Hansen Sørensen ( Integration Expert of the Danish Government) went on to say:  “A share of the foreign women want to take part in the Denish Way, but they are being held against their will by foreign hairy husbands who do not look Denish at all.  And they certainly don’t sound Denish when you hear them speaking in the kiosks.  These foreign husbands don’t want æbleskiver, so what good is that?”

He went on: “These foreign husbands have a ‘social control’ over the foreign women and it just isn’t Denish in practice,  they are not eating æbleskiver og heller igger grizzz.  It’s like you know, wearing a girdle.  We don’t want our women in girdles, we want them free and open and in thongs. The evil foreign socially controlling foreign man is telling the easily molded  foreign women what to do, when in actual fact,  we,  The DENISH Nation should be the ones telling them what to do.  It’s quite obvious, some of those women are beautiful, especially when they have all that make up on.  We can easily sort out those mustachios with a bit of bleach and wax.  With training it can be shown that those foreign women can speak Danish and with the lights off, you wouldn’t know they were in actual fact of another ethnic background than Denish.”

The 15,000 kroner deal has been created to reach the 10,000 foreign women who live in Denmark without any contact to a Danish Mother in Law.  Concerns have been raised when it was discovered that these 10,000 foreign women were often married to foreign men or had a foreign way of cooking or not getting their tits out on the beach.  Studies show that at least most of these women are at home taking care of their own children and not training to be ‘pædagog medhjælpers‘ (translation: overweight,  overemployed, overpaid babysitter helpers).

“Moves have been made to take the children out of these foreign women homes so as to pull up the weeds at the root and to make sure that those little urchins learn how to be Denish before it’s too late.  And of course to offer the foreign husbands money to leave Denmark..we honestly don’t have any other ideas, we don’t know how these men fit into our julfrokosts..half of them don’t even drink alcohol to excess.”  Said Pernille Inge Hansen Søren Sørensen (Danish Government).

An innocent bystander refused to comment but promised to have a little think about it when he had finished eating his æbleskiver.

A spokesthing for the Danish government was hasty to point out that the reason why the foreign women are being offered less money to stay and be denish than is being offered to foreign men to sod off and go and not be denish somewhere else is of course because one man equals two women, and that women or women minded need not trouble themselves with the details.

Addendum:  I think, as a foreign woman, if I am stuck between a rock and  a hard place,  I’d much rather be *socially controlled* up the ass by a foreign bloke than by the Denish System. Besides, the food is better, and we have ‘natural rhythm’.

(But either way,  a woman is not truly free in Denmark.)