Danish ‘People’ Party framing ‘Somalians’.

Not a great surprise,  but the story is simple.  Danish Twisted as Fuck ‘People’ Party (Danske Folke Parti) pretending that ‘Somalians’ are sending their leader deaththreats.  I can believe this one.

This story had ‘FRAME’ written all over it. DFP are great at fanning flames.  And you know, if it walks like shit, it talks like shit, it smells like shit:  it is shit.

Even if DFP weren’t behind this as a stunt,  I could still believe they were capable of it.

http://politiken.dk/indland/article906005.ece

Jeeze, you know, sometimes I think That Dog Pia and her puppies are getting to be worse than the Social Democrats!  What’s the world coming to eh?

That Dog.

..and one of her sick little puppies.

Oh don’t worry, in Denmark it is okay to MOCK.  That is what free speech is all about.  Mocking and being nasty, that is what tolerance is all about.  Mocking, and being nasty.  Woops,  but um, maybe I overstepped the line by mocking and being nasty about public Danish figures??? I better sort that out.

Edit:  above captions should read “A Somalian Muslim” (Picture one) and “A Muslim Prophet” (Picture two).

Phew, glad I got that sorted out.

Remember kids,  in Denmark we are careful about who we mock.

Edit:  newsflash:  perhaps the social democrats are not so crap after all,  turns out at least a couple of members have real balls.  See here:

http://politiken.dk/politik/article906321.ece

Basically,  a social democrat saying:  “Enough is enough you horrid little Danish ‘People’ Party loons.”

Helping you with your Dannish: LETTERS and GERMANY.

You need to know that the letter ‘W’ doesn’t exist in Dannish, but that they compensate for it by having five extra letters:  ‘¤’  (pronounced:  ‘aoooawoo’),  ‘§’ (pronounced ‘uuuuurrrrrrrrrhhhuu’),  ‘æ’ (pronounced: ‘aaaurgh’),  ‘%’ (pronounced: ‘oow’) and ‘ø’ (which is pronounced the same as you read it).

Don’t worry, you WILL get the hang of it eventually.  You just have to give it some time.  Try to be part of the solution, and not just a problem.

In Denamark, at birth all children are stamped with a number and are tested to see if they are ‘A’ people or ‘B’ people.

If you haven’t been tested yet, it is wise you get tested as soon as possible, otherwise you won’t know what sort of a person you are.

In layman’s terms an ‘A’ person is someone who likes to get up early and stay up really late and a ‘B’ person is someone who likes to go to bed really early and get up really early.   Until 1991 there was a type C, that being someone who liked to empty the contents of cigarettes onto a foil tray and burn it, then use the scorched dried tobacco to make horrid second rate joints out of the cheapest flat press available,  but that all died out when every body grew up and got proper jobs as sagsbehandlers. Or went to college to be pædagogs.

So now it’s just A or B. It’s important you understand the system because otherwise you won’t know what you are.

It is also meget meget important you understand a little of how Denmark was shaped before you go opening your mouth about all that Flagism.  Denish are highly proud of their flag and there is a reason.  The war with Germany in 1898 meant that Denmark lost a huge chunk of it’s land. This had to hurt.

It is a little known fact, but true.  There was a big war and Denmark lost half of Denmark and now it belongs to the Germans. In a vengeful mood, the Danish made a law that prevented Germans from buying summer houses here.  Any more.

It is a little known fact that the Germans had planned to take over Denmark once more,  by buying up all the summer houses (summer houses constitute two thirds of all buildings in coastal Denmark, one third in rural areas and a half a third in urban areas).  But they were thwarted.

But this doesn’t explain why there are so many German newspapers being sold in the Summer House neighborhoods.  There are many.  My suspicion is that Germans are somehow slipping into Denmark and RENTING all the summer houses in lieu of buying them up.  Somehow they always win over Denmark whatever happens,  because this means, they get to stay here, read their newspapers wander round naked and gobble their huge sausages and then leave without having to wipe the grease spots off the bedheads and door mantels.

Personally, I think the best thing to do would be for Denmark to take back the bit of Denmark stolen by the Germans.  What we need is a local war.  This would solve so many problems.  The immigrants would suddenly be wanted if conscription was brought in (link to Danish Newspapers covering how Immigrants breed like rabbits),  and we would all club together.

I say, move all the summer houses to the southern part of Denmark, and then once all the Germans are in, lets turn it into a high security prison camp and hold them hostage until we get what is ours back!

Give us Denmark back!

‘Skadet danskere provokere fanatisme Publishing Kurt Westergaard’s cartoon var en aggressiv handling født i Danmark’s modvilje mod at respektere religiøs overbevisning’

I’m not a BIG fan of google translate,  but you know, many danes find it useful to understanding Engrish, and just this once, I’ve been persuaded.  Usually, when I want to translate anything from Danish to English,  I sit and translate it properly,  which is especially important when decrypting the Danish of Denmark where you’ll find a nipple is a breast wart and someone who doesn’t have completely clean flour in the bag is a total lunatic.

Plenty of times I’ve translated Danish ‘news articles’ into Engrish for the benefit of those who don’t won’t can’t speak Dannish.  Politiken is pathetically barren when it comes to articles in English, and the Copenhagen Post?  Ye Gads, less said the betta.

But it is high time we started translating Engrish into Dannish for the benefit of our Denish readers,  who really do miss out.  And not just on proper food neither.  The Danes at large miss out on so much because there just isn’t the space for it here.    But we need to MAKE space.  Danes need us here.  We are here for a reason, ask Oprah.  It’s all part of some great divine plan.  We are needed, people!!!!  Do what you can to help.

So without further preamble, I lead you into my first sojourn into Google Translate. I gave it a well written article by some bird named Nancy Graham Holm, who got published in the broadsheet ‘The Guardian’.  (Article originally entitled ‘Prejudiced Danes provoke fanaticism’.)

Take it away, Google Translate:

“På New Year’s Day, kom Kurt Westergaard og hans barnebarn tæt på at miste livet, da en økse-wielding fanatiker trængt ind i deres hus. Det var den seneste i en række forsøg på angreb, der kan spores direkte til den strafbare handling forårsaget af Westergaard’s cartoon for danske avis Jyllands-Posten i 2005.

Hans tegneserie afbildet profeten Muhammed i en turban med en stang dynamit stikker ud fra toppen. Muslimer har undladt at se Westergaard’s cartoon som satire. Stedet, de så i det en fornærmende og ydmygende besked: muslimer er terrorister. Ydmygelse er en ødelæggende følelse. Men de fleste mennesker, der er fornærmede vil acceptere en undskyldning. Hvis en undskyldning var blevet kommende fra den daværende statsminister, Anders Fogh Rasmussen, at der sandsynligvis ville have været ende på det – men ingen kom, og ydmygelsen blev forværret.

Tre måneder senere flere imamer pakkede deres dokumentmapper og bærbare computere og bestilt flybilletter til Mellemøsten. De transporteres med dem en 43-siders dokument, skabt af en gruppe danske muslimske præster fra flere organisationer. Denne såkaldte Akkari-Laban dossieret var designet til at forelægge deres sag og anmode om støtte til deres harme. Danmark blev en “fjende af islam”, og dette resulterede i landets værste udenrigspolitiske krise siden Anden Verdenskrig.

Hvorfor har redaktionen på Jyllands-Posten vil håne islam på denne måde? Nogle af os troede det var i dårlig smag og også grusom. Forsætlig ydmygelse er en aggressiv handling. Som en journalist nu bor i samme by som Westergaard, tænkte jeg nogle på Jyllands-Posten havde handlet som gnaven unge. Danskere ikke kan se, at de har udviklet et samfund, dybt mistænksomme over for religion. Dette er det virkelige problem mellem Danmark og muslimske ekstremister, der ikke ytringsfrihed. Det frie samfund forskrift er blot et forsøg på at give gerningsmændene den moralske høje jorden, når det i virkeligheden er et skalkeskjul for en dybt rodfæstet fordom, ikke mod muslimer, men mod religionen i sig selv. Muslimer er forelskede i deres tro. Og mange danskere er mistænksomme over for alle, der elsker religion.

På den sidste dag i American Society for Muslim Advancement’s konference i 2006, Flemming Rose, Jyllands-Postens kulturredaktør, der anmodede om Muhammed-tegningerne, aftalt at mødes de delegerede og tog mere end en times spørgetid. Jeg oplevede denne udveksling og beundrede hans ærlighed.

“Er du slet ikke religiøs?” nogen spurgte ham. “Nej fleste danskere er ikke religiøs,” svarede han. “Godt så … kan du ikke mindst at respektere religiøse mennesker?” “Nej, egentlig ikke,” Rose svarede oprigtigt. “Generelt mener jeg, danskerne er lidt mistænksomme over for religiøse mennesker.”

Danskerne er ikke mere racistiske end nogen andre vestlige nation, men mange af dem, især intellektuelle, har alvorlige problemer med religiøse troende. Westergaard har været på besøg i Amerika og holde foredrag om sin rolle i 2005-Muhammed Muhammed-krise. I New York den 30. september sagde han til publikum, at muslimer er nødvendigt at udvikle en sans for humor og en vurdering af satire. De skal forstå, at de ikke er “fri for at blive hånet eller at blive fornærmet”.

Ser det natlige nyheder i februar 2006 var en rystende affære for de fleste danskere. De så deres flag brænde i gaderne i Damaskus, Beirut og Teheran. De cringed som demonstranter skreg voldelige slogans og oprørerne angreb deres ambassader. Politiet affyrede i skarer, der resulterede i mere end 100 dødsfald.

Nu danskerne vil ikke ned, og de få, men skæbnesvangert sindssyg radikale ekstremister vil fortsætte kampen. Den første større reaktion kom i januar 2008, hvor dansk politi anholdt en celle af ekstremister, der var anklaget for at planlægge Westergaard mordet. Der er 87 mænd i Danmark med navnet Kurt Westergaard og alle af dem nu har politiet beskyttelse. Fire måneder senere, selvmordsbombere angreb den danske ambassade i Islamabad, 30 sårede og dræbte seks. Al-Qaeda tog æren for angrebet, hævdede, at det var gengældelse for tegningerne og de 700 danske soldater i Afghanistan. I oktober 2008 blev to mænd dømt i danske domstole for at forberede et terrorangreb.

Denne gang Westergaard’s angriberen blev fanget – men en anden person derude venter på en lejlighed til at slå til igen.”
Now I’ve read it through, I have the distinct impression that maybe the journalist wrote it in Danish first and used google translate to turn it Engrish.

I am a little confused by this article though, because it doesn’t seem to really go anywhere.

*sigh*

Oh by the way, I am looking to commission a series of cartoons depicting an elderly cartoonist running for cover in a safe room leaving his infant grandchild alone with a mad axeman wearing a turban with a bomb poking out the top.  Any offers?

Once I was afraid, I was petrified.

Danish Government to give 15,000 kroner to foreign women, if they learn to be Denish.

The Danish Government want to give foreign women 15,000 kroner to learn more about Denish and Denish FreeSpeechDemocracy. They will get the money once they have learnt the following important steps:

• freedom
• demoncracy
• julfrokost
• barbering
• bleach
• suntan
• pork
• sommerhus
• gummistovler
• komfuret
• sild
• skt hans
• skilsmissebarn
• jooolafTEn
• min mor
• farvel!
• hvorfor ikke?
• oi!  For Søren!
• hvad sÅ?
• p#rn
• så så

From a podium, Søren Mads Mikkel Jens Hansen Sørensen of the Danish Government said: “We are not going to get involved in people’s lives and families, but we will offer some cash that the foreign women and their husbands will understand.  So right now, on the table, we’ll offer 100,000 kroner to the foreign husbands who haven’t got a chance in hell of sitting through a full JulAften dinner with our mothers,  if they will get out of Denmark and not come back.  And we will offer 15,000 kroner to the foreign wives, because after all, you can still marry them, some of them are quite good looking, and my mother can eventually teach them to make æbleskiver the good old Danish way.”

Søren Mads Mikkel Jens Hansen Sørensen ( Integration Expert of the Danish Government) went on to say:  “A share of the foreign women want to take part in the Denish Way, but they are being held against their will by foreign hairy husbands who do not look Denish at all.  And they certainly don’t sound Denish when you hear them speaking in the kiosks.  These foreign husbands don’t want æbleskiver, so what good is that?”

He went on: “These foreign husbands have a ‘social control’ over the foreign women and it just isn’t Denish in practice,  they are not eating æbleskiver og heller igger grizzz.  It’s like you know, wearing a girdle.  We don’t want our women in girdles, we want them free and open and in thongs. The evil foreign socially controlling foreign man is telling the easily molded  foreign women what to do, when in actual fact,  we,  The DENISH Nation should be the ones telling them what to do.  It’s quite obvious, some of those women are beautiful, especially when they have all that make up on.  We can easily sort out those mustachios with a bit of bleach and wax.  With training it can be shown that those foreign women can speak Danish and with the lights off, you wouldn’t know they were in actual fact of another ethnic background than Denish.”

The 15,000 kroner deal has been created to reach the 10,000 foreign women who live in Denmark without any contact to a Danish Mother in Law.  Concerns have been raised when it was discovered that these 10,000 foreign women were often married to foreign men or had a foreign way of cooking or not getting their tits out on the beach.  Studies show that at least most of these women are at home taking care of their own children and not training to be ‘pædagog medhjælpers‘ (translation: overweight,  overemployed, overpaid babysitter helpers).

“Moves have been made to take the children out of these foreign women homes so as to pull up the weeds at the root and to make sure that those little urchins learn how to be Denish before it’s too late.  And of course to offer the foreign husbands money to leave Denmark..we honestly don’t have any other ideas, we don’t know how these men fit into our julfrokosts..half of them don’t even drink alcohol to excess.”  Said Pernille Inge Hansen Søren Sørensen (Danish Government).

An innocent bystander refused to comment but promised to have a little think about it when he had finished eating his æbleskiver.

A spokesthing for the Danish government was hasty to point out that the reason why the foreign women are being offered less money to stay and be denish than is being offered to foreign men to sod off and go and not be denish somewhere else is of course because one man equals two women, and that women or women minded need not trouble themselves with the details.

Addendum:  I think, as a foreign woman, if I am stuck between a rock and  a hard place,  I’d much rather be *socially controlled* up the ass by a foreign bloke than by the Denish System. Besides, the food is better, and we have ‘natural rhythm’.

(But either way,  a woman is not truly free in Denmark.)

Teaching the Danshish: PARODY.

I have started deleting comments from self professed Danshish or Danskied with tails and forked tongues who hiss and spit and seem to be rather more angry than a blog of this tragi-comic merit deserves.

So in an effort to help, I will now begin a new series entitled:  Teaching the Danshish. I will use simple pictograms or youtube and keep my words to an absolute minimum.

Today, I teaching the Danshish about PARODY.  Using youtube Shakira.

See?  Now do you get it?  Next week: Teaching the Danshish:  ‘Police Violence’ (using youtube and Celine Dion).

Danish journalists ask Obama how he likes the snow.

Earlier today, Danish journalists approached Obama’s aides to ask if it was possible to film a segment showing Obama’s reactions to “seeing snow for the first time in his life”.

The journalists were immediately clubbed to the ground and beaten to an unrecognizable pulp by Obama’s aides, a passing cleaning lady, President Mugabwe and a partridge in a pear tree.

Speaking later through a special device that allows people only slightly above being in a vegetative state to communicate with the world (copyright Lego) one of the journalists gave the following statement:

“We don’t know what went wrong.  One minute we were asking if we could film Obama enjoying his first ever sighting of snow, and the next we were being beaten to an unrecognizable pulp. This just isn’t democratic, and one might wonder,  what has happened to free speech?”

A spokesperson for the Danish Journalism Association gave the following statement (translated from DanishEnglish into English by googletranslate) :   “For the following 24 hours we are going to suspend any more filming of people from the poor lands who are in Denmark for COP15 and enjoying seeing snow for the first time ever.”

A 24 year old student from one of the poor lands making all the trouble, who doesnt want to be named for fear of reprisal, gave the following statement: “I don’t know what all the fuss is about.  I have been filmed twice this week by two seperate Danish news teams seeing snow for the first time in my life.   It is incredible. I have only ever seen snow on TV before, and I imagined it to have the texture of cotton wool.  But it is in fact,  cold and wet!  Thankyou Denmark, thankyou for snow.”

Denmark shoots itself in foot, and airs dirty laundry in public.

I’ve been thinking about how the law in Denmark has affected us. There have been so many laws passed hurriedly of late, and I am no longer amazed at how little this affects the overwhelming majority of people who live here,  Danes might be aware of changes being made on their behalf, but they aren’t making any great moves to stop them.  We are having our rights rapidly legislated out of our reach, and very little is being done to counteract these changes in the law.  There is little visible protest.

The new law ‘lømmelpakken’ that allows the police new powers of arrest has threatened to wipe out any further protests in Denmark.

The law as it was has been working, we were afraid to speak out.  Denmark 1,  Foreigners,  Activists,  Dreamers and Oddballs:  0.

I found out about the demo’s relating to COP15 through word of mouth and chance encounters.   I hadn’t planned to attend any open protests or demonstrations.   I have seen the way protesters are handled here,  it is a worry, and then came the new law, adding insult to injury.

But what is it I was afraid of?

Honestly? At the front of my mind was that I have a health condition that requires me to receive treatment on the spot should I need it, and I’d seen how the police here handle protesters, roughly – would I survive that?

I had a nightmare image of myself firstly getting arrested for just being at a protest, secondly getting pepper sprayed due to reacting to being arrested for just being at a protest and thirdly then dying on a cold cement floor due to not getting the medical treatment when I needed it.

I was also afraid of losing everything through getting into ‘trouble’.  Not just the being arrested sort of trouble, but the being known as a protester sort of trouble.  I was too afraid of the repercussions to actually get out there in all seriousness.  Of course I was joking when I said that Denmark needs a kick up the arse,  please, don’t write that down.

I did,  however, attend a small demo recently,  in another part of Denmark, and noticed straight off, the laughably obvious plain clothes policemen and women milling around the pre gathering space (a busy train station) and eyeballing the colorful teenage anarchists and revolutionary types before they moved onto the start of the little march.  This concerned me,  because I was also being eyeballed. It must have been my big wooly hat.  Oh shucks, is that me fucked then?  Is that me on some kind of list???  I certainly hope not.  After all, I am innocent.

I stood and listened to the initial speeches, did the march,  kept my mouth shut abstaining from any chanting or shouted calls for revolution,  and then slipped away when the march reached its conclusion and so didn’t stay to hear the follow up speeches.

That was about as much as I could ‘risk’.  I was glad to meet the people who did march on. Though a small gathering, there was a great atmosphere within the ranks of the protesters,  but peering out to the shopping crowds who lined the streets to let us pass, I saw a lot of disgust on the faces of the Danish populace.  Grey lined angry faces openly sneering, making remarks.  Old and young,  they sneered.  I haven’t encountered such unanimous hostility before.  That shocked me,  because there was such a contrast between the rainbow loving vibe of the marchers and the grey horror of the spectators.

I am not going to judge anyone for not taking part in a demo, because it does take some sacrifice to do such a thing.  But my concern is that protest is being crushed altogether in Denmark, there is too much resistance to being disobedient.  We need to remember to protest.  To be brave where we haven’t been brave before.

COP 15 will end, and those of us who have set up home here will be left with what we’ve got.  Without the international influence, the legendary 100,000 people strong march on the 12th in Copenhagen would not have happened.

See, protest in Denmark has long been a paltry affair.  The Danes do stand up now,  but only in small numbers and then they sit down quickly.  If they don’t, they get beaten by the system one way or the other.  How can I prove this?  By compromising the trust of the people I know who have been beaten into submission here, by telling stories of threats from above and sanctions being placed and families and jobs at stake?  Nah.  So, I guess you will have to take my word for it if you don’t already know for sure. Stepping outside the system in Denmark takes more than just guts, it takes support,  hard cash and nerves of steel.  Most of us buckle and cow tow.

The fear in protest here was not brought about this month,  Denmark’s been hard on protest for a long while..  I remember on a visit to a friend in Århus in 2006, stumbling across an anti racist march.  It was certainly only a very small group of harassed looking young people.

I was taken aback because I saw the police before I protesters, they were out in force,  so many of them, and their vans parked in a peculiar formation to one side, and a line upon line of politi to the other.  And such a small group of kids!

I approached one of the marchers, a more mature looker,  and asked him very naively why he hadn’t organised them into a bigger group to warrant the police attention?  He did smile, it was a joke after all, but his face was strained.   He walked on with the group. I remember  the fear in his eyes and the way he kept his daunted gaze on the police gathering.

The way the politi had placed themselves and their vehicles,  it was confrontational.   Jokeworthy if it hadn’t of been pantcrappingworthy.  I seem to remember hearing dogs barking from within vans too.  It was over the top.

Fear and tension permeated the air,  and I decided to ask a politi man what was up with the dramatic police presence.  I asked him why the police were there in force,  and responded to his reticence by telling him I assumed it was to protect the children so they could have their wee demo in peace.  I’d heard there was a nazi demo in town the same day,  and the nazis in Denmark do a fair bit of ‘perker-lover’ battering,  alledgedly.  How NICE of the popopoliti to protect the protesters.   I said.

Anyway, the policeman was well tense and he got a bit annoyed with me.  I had essentially joined the protest.  He basically told me to hop it.  Said I was preventing him from doing his job, which was, um, towering above a bedraggled gaggle of teenagers in his stab proof vest.

The rumor was that the nazis that day were treated differently, that they got a police escort, where the anti racists got the police presence.   I have to believe what the anti racists say,  because let’s be frank, they are the sanest.

The Danish police are under fire for what they have done.  Yet they are under orders, from the top.  The Danske Folke Parti (Danish Peoples Party) have been too quiet since COP15,  this I don’t get,  but my suspicion is that they have been sitting back with popcorn.

The Danish press have shown photo series that appear to glorify the police role in the protests.  This is an attempt to make the police people look good, when in fact, they look very very bad.

On a one to one basis,  I’ve never been badly treated by a policeperson, in fact, they always seem to be on my side,  but right now, that doesn’t mean I will resist the urge to protest where possible.  In future I hope to add my support in person to the people who dare.

I’d rather be the person falling from the top of a  police van, after having his brains beat out by a policeman, than the policeman who is standing watching the falling guy with a sneer of satisfaction shown visibly behind his helmet mask.  And yes, the numbers were clear.

What I won’t continue to do, is to sit in fear.

The ‘lømmepakke’  demo arrest law giving the police the powers to detain people with no due cause may have frightened a good many of us off momentarily (many are scared off),  but who can listen to reports of friends being attacked, and not stand up and do or say SOMETHING?

Thankfully, the word is now out, draconian methods of control are at work here,  as revealed in the excellent article by Bibi van der Zee for The Guardian:  ‘Activists reveal tactics used by police to ‘decapitate’ CPH climate protests’.

There are many who are shocked and scared into being quiet and submissive in Denmark,  and yet there is likely to be a number of people who have been radicalized by the recent proceedings and politi-ical brutality.

This could be a wake up call.  Sure we are losing rights, but that doesn’t mean we are finished.

So..um…Take the power back.

*runs for the border*

Denish Government Statement: Unemployed muslim women will lose their unemployment/welfare support, if they do not stop doing Islam with headscarves.

Islamaphobes (“oooooo scarey beards and headscarves oooooo coming to take out jobs and ruin christmas ooooo”) will love the latest news about how Denmark plans to treat ‘the muslim race’.

Muslim women stand to lose their welfare/unemployment support,  if they don’t take jobs given by employers who require muslim women to remove their headscarves in order to work for them.

A politician from the elected ‘Venstre Social Democrat’ leaders stated in parliament that there are conditions attached to the reception of welfare/unemployment support and one of them is that a claimant is available for work.

And that a person claiming welfare/unemployment support isn’t available for work if they possess ‘qualities’ that prevent the claimant from taking ‘ordinary work’.

And that one of the ‘qualities’ that prevent a muslim woman from getting work is her headscarf,  so it’s time to take out the trash and teach these women a lesson.  If they don’t take off their head gear,  they can bloody well whistle for their money and starve hahahahahahaha.  That’ll teach them.

A clear message from our bosses at the Parliament:  wearing a headscarf is no excuse:  you take it off if you want your cheque.

But hold on a minute?!!  Couldn’t this affect ordinary folk?

What about those ordinary folk who are not doing Islam who have found it is their RESPONSIBILITY to acclimate to the Danish way of life?  Those who have been studying who the Danes are?  Who have been learning Danish and aligning their practices with the Danish standards?  Who believe that the Danes established this country and the Danish system long before their arrival?

What about those ordinary folk, those self confessed non-muslims who ask:   “who am I to demand that the Danes just accept me with open arms?”  It’s a valid point.  Why should the Danes accept you foreigners with open arms?  #1: You talk funny.  It’s an instant barrier.

Anyway,  It is not about conforming, but rather having respect for this country that you chose to enter…or not choose to enter in the case of people who ended up coming here to take refuge when it was any port in a storm.  So come on, respect the country,  and do whatever you are told, and for crying out loud, work on that accent.

And  listen up all you cancer stricken who wear headscarves!  Those who are finding working a difficulty and need to claim government support.  No excuses now!   Get that scarf off your head… Mind you,it’s not just any old headscarf you aint allowed, it is specifically the MUSLIM headscarf.

So now I am starting to wonder.  Can a woman wearing a MUSLIM headscarf be excused from seeking work or excused from being penalised for wearing her headscarf if she has cancer? At what stage is a person recovering from cancer expected to stop wearing muslimesque headgear and get back to work?  Will she then still get her cheque?  Or will she be told that a doctors note will be almost sufficient, but that she has to change her head gear from being ‘arab looking’ to the more modern cancer cap?

See, Denmark is about progress.

And that means that women who need to claim unemployment benefit will be penalised for not removing their headscarf…unless they can prove they have cancer perhaps?  Even then, I reckon that what it boils down to is that a sick woman is preferable in Denmark to a muslim woman.  I don’t know why that is.  They’d rather have them dying than praying on a mat.  And what with cancer recovery rates in DK being what they are..whole thing stinks.

Funny old world.

Protest is futile.

“Jailing of Tadzio bang out of order” Says Lawyer.

But you know, one person can’t make a difference.  Now sit back, open another bag of potato chips and enjoy the rest of your pitiful powerless excuse of a life….

STOP PRESS!STOP PRESS!STOP PRESS!

High level interview with high level popoliceperson now translated to Engrish for benefit of our lesser readers:

A sweetie factory cum communal vegetairan dwelling place was raided and ransacked today and a number of cycles taken away by the Purleaze.

A high level popoliceperson was compelled to give a reason for the action and he stated that the cycles were in fact illegal, in his head anyway.

“THIS BIKE IS NOT A LEGAL MODEL!”  He said.  “We believe,  we believe,  we believe, we do believe that they will use it for something….NOT legal!  In COPENHAGEN!”

Like … uh…what, for example?

“Yeah BUT, this is what you see around Europe, and then we make an assessment…”

What is it the police think is illegal?

“Is it to cycle on,  when you find it on Lærkevej?  NO. Just like when you find somebody who wears a gasmask, and has pliers and masks,  you know, so we know it’s for something wery NOT legal.”

What sort of illegal activities do you honestly think you can use the cycles for?

“Um, well, we don’t know yet.  Ask my mum.  She’s over there, making the sandwiches.”

Mum indeed.

AND your mom.

To which I’d like to add:

Mr High Level Popo?

DID you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

AND:

YOUR MOM ….. is so dumb,  she sat on the TV and watched the SOFA.

In other news today…

http://politiken.dk/klima/Topmode_i_Kobenhavn/article860763.ece

“There is something wrong in Denmark.”

Well hellloooo, what took you so long?

Naomi Klein YOU ROCK. Headline: “The Danish need for control is a real problem.”

‘The Danish need for control is a real problem.’ – tell me about it, LOL!

‘DANISH NEED FOR CONTROL IS STIFLING CLIMATE DEBATE’ -Front page of The Guardian online.