Danish Government to give 15,000 kroner to foreign women, if they learn to be Denish.

The Danish Government want to give foreign women 15,000 kroner to learn more about Denish and Denish FreeSpeechDemocracy. They will get the money once they have learnt the following important steps:

• freedom
• demoncracy
• julfrokost
• barbering
• bleach
• suntan
• pork
• sommerhus
• gummistovler
• komfuret
• sild
• skt hans
• skilsmissebarn
• jooolafTEn
• min mor
• farvel!
• hvorfor ikke?
• oi!  For Søren!
• hvad sÅ?
• p#rn
• så så

From a podium, Søren Mads Mikkel Jens Hansen Sørensen of the Danish Government said: “We are not going to get involved in people’s lives and families, but we will offer some cash that the foreign women and their husbands will understand.  So right now, on the table, we’ll offer 100,000 kroner to the foreign husbands who haven’t got a chance in hell of sitting through a full JulAften dinner with our mothers,  if they will get out of Denmark and not come back.  And we will offer 15,000 kroner to the foreign wives, because after all, you can still marry them, some of them are quite good looking, and my mother can eventually teach them to make æbleskiver the good old Danish way.”

Søren Mads Mikkel Jens Hansen Sørensen ( Integration Expert of the Danish Government) went on to say:  “A share of the foreign women want to take part in the Denish Way, but they are being held against their will by foreign hairy husbands who do not look Denish at all.  And they certainly don’t sound Denish when you hear them speaking in the kiosks.  These foreign husbands don’t want æbleskiver, so what good is that?”

He went on: “These foreign husbands have a ‘social control’ over the foreign women and it just isn’t Denish in practice,  they are not eating æbleskiver og heller igger grizzz.  It’s like you know, wearing a girdle.  We don’t want our women in girdles, we want them free and open and in thongs. The evil foreign socially controlling foreign man is telling the easily molded  foreign women what to do, when in actual fact,  we,  The DENISH Nation should be the ones telling them what to do.  It’s quite obvious, some of those women are beautiful, especially when they have all that make up on.  We can easily sort out those mustachios with a bit of bleach and wax.  With training it can be shown that those foreign women can speak Danish and with the lights off, you wouldn’t know they were in actual fact of another ethnic background than Denish.”

The 15,000 kroner deal has been created to reach the 10,000 foreign women who live in Denmark without any contact to a Danish Mother in Law.  Concerns have been raised when it was discovered that these 10,000 foreign women were often married to foreign men or had a foreign way of cooking or not getting their tits out on the beach.  Studies show that at least most of these women are at home taking care of their own children and not training to be ‘pædagog medhjælpers‘ (translation: overweight,  overemployed, overpaid babysitter helpers).

“Moves have been made to take the children out of these foreign women homes so as to pull up the weeds at the root and to make sure that those little urchins learn how to be Denish before it’s too late.  And of course to offer the foreign husbands money to leave Denmark..we honestly don’t have any other ideas, we don’t know how these men fit into our julfrokosts..half of them don’t even drink alcohol to excess.”  Said Pernille Inge Hansen Søren Sørensen (Danish Government).

An innocent bystander refused to comment but promised to have a little think about it when he had finished eating his æbleskiver.

A spokesthing for the Danish government was hasty to point out that the reason why the foreign women are being offered less money to stay and be denish than is being offered to foreign men to sod off and go and not be denish somewhere else is of course because one man equals two women, and that women or women minded need not trouble themselves with the details.

Addendum:  I think, as a foreign woman, if I am stuck between a rock and  a hard place,  I’d much rather be *socially controlled* up the ass by a foreign bloke than by the Denish System. Besides, the food is better, and we have ‘natural rhythm’.

(But either way,  a woman is not truly free in Denmark.)

Teaching the Danshish: PARODY.

I have started deleting comments from self professed Danshish or Danskied with tails and forked tongues who hiss and spit and seem to be rather more angry than a blog of this tragi-comic merit deserves.

So in an effort to help, I will now begin a new series entitled:  Teaching the Danshish. I will use simple pictograms or youtube and keep my words to an absolute minimum.

Today, I teaching the Danshish about PARODY.  Using youtube Shakira.

See?  Now do you get it?  Next week: Teaching the Danshish:  ‘Police Violence’ (using youtube and Celine Dion).

Tadzio Müller released.

Tadzio Müller gave the following speech after his release:

“In the last two weeks in Copenhagen,we witnessed one abject failure,
and one resounding success. The obvious failure is that of the COP15:
not only did the summit not deliver the drastic and just emissions
reductions that are necessary, it in fact failed to deliver anything
at all. The success is that of the global climate justice movement,
which organised spectacular, large and inspiring actions, where
activists from all over the world came together and created a new
common ground on which to continue the fight for global justice.
Finally, the failure of the COP highlights the importance of social
movement, pressure from below, and civil disobedience in the face of
the climate crisis”.

CJA’s spokespersons have openly explained the purpose of the action
and told about the non-violent basis and still spokespersons are now
facing charges of planning violence. This is absurd. Tadizos reply to
his arrest was:

“The Danish government’s appallingly disproportionate reaction, the
political policing used to jail some 1800 activists for nothing at
all, targeting of media spokespeople; using tear gas, pepper spray,
mass cages, baton charges and mass preemptive arrests; sets a
precedent dangerous not only for Denmark, but for the future of the
world.”

SOURCE:  indymedia.dk.

Danish journalists ask Obama how he likes the snow.

Earlier today, Danish journalists approached Obama’s aides to ask if it was possible to film a segment showing Obama’s reactions to “seeing snow for the first time in his life”.

The journalists were immediately clubbed to the ground and beaten to an unrecognizable pulp by Obama’s aides, a passing cleaning lady, President Mugabwe and a partridge in a pear tree.

Speaking later through a special device that allows people only slightly above being in a vegetative state to communicate with the world (copyright Lego) one of the journalists gave the following statement:

“We don’t know what went wrong.  One minute we were asking if we could film Obama enjoying his first ever sighting of snow, and the next we were being beaten to an unrecognizable pulp. This just isn’t democratic, and one might wonder,  what has happened to free speech?”

A spokesperson for the Danish Journalism Association gave the following statement (translated from DanishEnglish into English by googletranslate) :   “For the following 24 hours we are going to suspend any more filming of people from the poor lands who are in Denmark for COP15 and enjoying seeing snow for the first time ever.”

A 24 year old student from one of the poor lands making all the trouble, who doesnt want to be named for fear of reprisal, gave the following statement: “I don’t know what all the fuss is about.  I have been filmed twice this week by two seperate Danish news teams seeing snow for the first time in my life.   It is incredible. I have only ever seen snow on TV before, and I imagined it to have the texture of cotton wool.  But it is in fact,  cold and wet!  Thankyou Denmark, thankyou for snow.”

Denmark shoots itself in foot, and airs dirty laundry in public.

I’ve been thinking about how the law in Denmark has affected us. There have been so many laws passed hurriedly of late, and I am no longer amazed at how little this affects the overwhelming majority of people who live here,  Danes might be aware of changes being made on their behalf, but they aren’t making any great moves to stop them.  We are having our rights rapidly legislated out of our reach, and very little is being done to counteract these changes in the law.  There is little visible protest.

The new law ‘lømmelpakken’ that allows the police new powers of arrest has threatened to wipe out any further protests in Denmark.

The law as it was has been working, we were afraid to speak out.  Denmark 1,  Foreigners,  Activists,  Dreamers and Oddballs:  0.

I found out about the demo’s relating to COP15 through word of mouth and chance encounters.   I hadn’t planned to attend any open protests or demonstrations.   I have seen the way protesters are handled here,  it is a worry, and then came the new law, adding insult to injury.

But what is it I was afraid of?

Honestly? At the front of my mind was that I have a health condition that requires me to receive treatment on the spot should I need it, and I’d seen how the police here handle protesters, roughly – would I survive that?

I had a nightmare image of myself firstly getting arrested for just being at a protest, secondly getting pepper sprayed due to reacting to being arrested for just being at a protest and thirdly then dying on a cold cement floor due to not getting the medical treatment when I needed it.

I was also afraid of losing everything through getting into ‘trouble’.  Not just the being arrested sort of trouble, but the being known as a protester sort of trouble.  I was too afraid of the repercussions to actually get out there in all seriousness.  Of course I was joking when I said that Denmark needs a kick up the arse,  please, don’t write that down.

I did,  however, attend a small demo recently,  in another part of Denmark, and noticed straight off, the laughably obvious plain clothes policemen and women milling around the pre gathering space (a busy train station) and eyeballing the colorful teenage anarchists and revolutionary types before they moved onto the start of the little march.  This concerned me,  because I was also being eyeballed. It must have been my big wooly hat.  Oh shucks, is that me fucked then?  Is that me on some kind of list???  I certainly hope not.  After all, I am innocent.

I stood and listened to the initial speeches, did the march,  kept my mouth shut abstaining from any chanting or shouted calls for revolution,  and then slipped away when the march reached its conclusion and so didn’t stay to hear the follow up speeches.

That was about as much as I could ‘risk’.  I was glad to meet the people who did march on. Though a small gathering, there was a great atmosphere within the ranks of the protesters,  but peering out to the shopping crowds who lined the streets to let us pass, I saw a lot of disgust on the faces of the Danish populace.  Grey lined angry faces openly sneering, making remarks.  Old and young,  they sneered.  I haven’t encountered such unanimous hostility before.  That shocked me,  because there was such a contrast between the rainbow loving vibe of the marchers and the grey horror of the spectators.

I am not going to judge anyone for not taking part in a demo, because it does take some sacrifice to do such a thing.  But my concern is that protest is being crushed altogether in Denmark, there is too much resistance to being disobedient.  We need to remember to protest.  To be brave where we haven’t been brave before.

COP 15 will end, and those of us who have set up home here will be left with what we’ve got.  Without the international influence, the legendary 100,000 people strong march on the 12th in Copenhagen would not have happened.

See, protest in Denmark has long been a paltry affair.  The Danes do stand up now,  but only in small numbers and then they sit down quickly.  If they don’t, they get beaten by the system one way or the other.  How can I prove this?  By compromising the trust of the people I know who have been beaten into submission here, by telling stories of threats from above and sanctions being placed and families and jobs at stake?  Nah.  So, I guess you will have to take my word for it if you don’t already know for sure. Stepping outside the system in Denmark takes more than just guts, it takes support,  hard cash and nerves of steel.  Most of us buckle and cow tow.

The fear in protest here was not brought about this month,  Denmark’s been hard on protest for a long while..  I remember on a visit to a friend in Århus in 2006, stumbling across an anti racist march.  It was certainly only a very small group of harassed looking young people.

I was taken aback because I saw the police before I protesters, they were out in force,  so many of them, and their vans parked in a peculiar formation to one side, and a line upon line of politi to the other.  And such a small group of kids!

I approached one of the marchers, a more mature looker,  and asked him very naively why he hadn’t organised them into a bigger group to warrant the police attention?  He did smile, it was a joke after all, but his face was strained.   He walked on with the group. I remember  the fear in his eyes and the way he kept his daunted gaze on the police gathering.

The way the politi had placed themselves and their vehicles,  it was confrontational.   Jokeworthy if it hadn’t of been pantcrappingworthy.  I seem to remember hearing dogs barking from within vans too.  It was over the top.

Fear and tension permeated the air,  and I decided to ask a politi man what was up with the dramatic police presence.  I asked him why the police were there in force,  and responded to his reticence by telling him I assumed it was to protect the children so they could have their wee demo in peace.  I’d heard there was a nazi demo in town the same day,  and the nazis in Denmark do a fair bit of ‘perker-lover’ battering,  alledgedly.  How NICE of the popopoliti to protect the protesters.   I said.

Anyway, the policeman was well tense and he got a bit annoyed with me.  I had essentially joined the protest.  He basically told me to hop it.  Said I was preventing him from doing his job, which was, um, towering above a bedraggled gaggle of teenagers in his stab proof vest.

The rumor was that the nazis that day were treated differently, that they got a police escort, where the anti racists got the police presence.   I have to believe what the anti racists say,  because let’s be frank, they are the sanest.

The Danish police are under fire for what they have done.  Yet they are under orders, from the top.  The Danske Folke Parti (Danish Peoples Party) have been too quiet since COP15,  this I don’t get,  but my suspicion is that they have been sitting back with popcorn.

The Danish press have shown photo series that appear to glorify the police role in the protests.  This is an attempt to make the police people look good, when in fact, they look very very bad.

On a one to one basis,  I’ve never been badly treated by a policeperson, in fact, they always seem to be on my side,  but right now, that doesn’t mean I will resist the urge to protest where possible.  In future I hope to add my support in person to the people who dare.

I’d rather be the person falling from the top of a  police van, after having his brains beat out by a policeman, than the policeman who is standing watching the falling guy with a sneer of satisfaction shown visibly behind his helmet mask.  And yes, the numbers were clear.

What I won’t continue to do, is to sit in fear.

The ‘lømmepakke’  demo arrest law giving the police the powers to detain people with no due cause may have frightened a good many of us off momentarily (many are scared off),  but who can listen to reports of friends being attacked, and not stand up and do or say SOMETHING?

Thankfully, the word is now out, draconian methods of control are at work here,  as revealed in the excellent article by Bibi van der Zee for The Guardian:  ‘Activists reveal tactics used by police to ‘decapitate’ CPH climate protests’.

There are many who are shocked and scared into being quiet and submissive in Denmark,  and yet there is likely to be a number of people who have been radicalized by the recent proceedings and politi-ical brutality.

This could be a wake up call.  Sure we are losing rights, but that doesn’t mean we are finished.

So..um…Take the power back.

*runs for the border*

Global Feedback: “Denmark is losing its reputation for being a good world citizen.”

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8415387.stm

Say what you like about crusties and protesters on ‘your streets’ in ‘your nation’ on ‘your land’,  you have to face the fact, that your modern Danish democratically empowered police action looks freaking bad in all the reasonable press.

I am thrilled to report that the word is now out.  There is something wrong and rotten in Denmark and it is the overwhelming majority of people.  Their one hope is education.  Adopt a Danish child today!  For just 700 dollars a month a Danish child can recieve a proper education, elsewhere, but not here!  Support the new generation!  Get them out of the dastardly hole they are in!

And let me just take this moment to say that this is what Denmark has become, and certainly not what it was.  Of course the seeds were always there, you know, all that pig meat….what it does to the digestion.

It’s such a tiny place,  with so few people here, it makes sense that this sort of thing (see video in link) can’t stand unchallenged.

I am not going to say all police are wankers, or all crusties are crustie,  but I will say:  the majority in Denmark won’t flinch at the sight of the protesters getting whacked.  For every person I hear speaking of the overtly aggressive and unreasonable attitude of the governing and organizational forces at work in Denmark today, there is a Dane somewhere, rubbing his big fat belly, and saying “Quite right!  We don’t want that lot here!” and calling for his mail order bride to get him another beer.

So stick it up your arse Denmark.  Your politics suck and it’s got to the point where Enhedslisten are about the only viable option, and they are never gonna get voted in are they?

I refuse to live in a country like this, and I am not leaving.  Not until there has been a slight improvement anyway.

Big kisses to all the beautifuls who had the gutz to protest at any stage during this whole COP 15 debacle:  you have done a great job,  sparked a lot of newsworthy actions and brought what is happening out in the open.

The main news of the season has been the protests:  RESULT.

http://bambuser.com/channel/DRNyheder

http://politiken.dk/klima/Topmode_i_Kobenhavn/article861441.ece -  Delegates in shock due to getting battered by Danish Police:  “We didn’t expect this in Denmark!”  Haha, because you watch OPRAH?

Edit:  NEW YORK TIMES COVERAGE OF HUMAN RIGHTS INFRINGEMENTS IN DENMARK TODAY – “As the police vans advanced, skirmishes broke out with protesters who formed human chains and chanted their commitment to nonviolence and to helping people in parts of the world that they said would be hardest hit by climate change.”   and  “Another member of the protest group, Richard Bernard, said he expected arrests and possible clashes with police. “Danish police have been violating human rights all week,” he said.”

GUARDIAN COVERAGE: “Denmark is losing its reputation for being a good world citizen,” Naomi Klein.

CNN Very Brilliant Photo series on todays demo.

Copenhagen: the sound of silence

Denmark’s reputation is being destroyed by police action outside the summit and the gagging of NGOs and poor nations inside

Denish Government Statement: Unemployed muslim women will lose their unemployment/welfare support, if they do not stop doing Islam with headscarves.

Islamaphobes (“oooooo scarey beards and headscarves oooooo coming to take out jobs and ruin christmas ooooo”) will love the latest news about how Denmark plans to treat ‘the muslim race’.

Muslim women stand to lose their welfare/unemployment support,  if they don’t take jobs given by employers who require muslim women to remove their headscarves in order to work for them.

A politician from the elected ‘Venstre Social Democrat’ leaders stated in parliament that there are conditions attached to the reception of welfare/unemployment support and one of them is that a claimant is available for work.

And that a person claiming welfare/unemployment support isn’t available for work if they possess ‘qualities’ that prevent the claimant from taking ‘ordinary work’.

And that one of the ‘qualities’ that prevent a muslim woman from getting work is her headscarf,  so it’s time to take out the trash and teach these women a lesson.  If they don’t take off their head gear,  they can bloody well whistle for their money and starve hahahahahahaha.  That’ll teach them.

A clear message from our bosses at the Parliament:  wearing a headscarf is no excuse:  you take it off if you want your cheque.

But hold on a minute?!!  Couldn’t this affect ordinary folk?

What about those ordinary folk who are not doing Islam who have found it is their RESPONSIBILITY to acclimate to the Danish way of life?  Those who have been studying who the Danes are?  Who have been learning Danish and aligning their practices with the Danish standards?  Who believe that the Danes established this country and the Danish system long before their arrival?

What about those ordinary folk, those self confessed non-muslims who ask:   “who am I to demand that the Danes just accept me with open arms?”  It’s a valid point.  Why should the Danes accept you foreigners with open arms?  #1: You talk funny.  It’s an instant barrier.

Anyway,  It is not about conforming, but rather having respect for this country that you chose to enter…or not choose to enter in the case of people who ended up coming here to take refuge when it was any port in a storm.  So come on, respect the country,  and do whatever you are told, and for crying out loud, work on that accent.

And  listen up all you cancer stricken who wear headscarves!  Those who are finding working a difficulty and need to claim government support.  No excuses now!   Get that scarf off your head… Mind you,it’s not just any old headscarf you aint allowed, it is specifically the MUSLIM headscarf.

So now I am starting to wonder.  Can a woman wearing a MUSLIM headscarf be excused from seeking work or excused from being penalised for wearing her headscarf if she has cancer? At what stage is a person recovering from cancer expected to stop wearing muslimesque headgear and get back to work?  Will she then still get her cheque?  Or will she be told that a doctors note will be almost sufficient, but that she has to change her head gear from being ‘arab looking’ to the more modern cancer cap?

See, Denmark is about progress.

And that means that women who need to claim unemployment benefit will be penalised for not removing their headscarf…unless they can prove they have cancer perhaps?  Even then, I reckon that what it boils down to is that a sick woman is preferable in Denmark to a muslim woman.  I don’t know why that is.  They’d rather have them dying than praying on a mat.  And what with cancer recovery rates in DK being what they are..whole thing stinks.

Funny old world.

Protest is futile.

“Jailing of Tadzio bang out of order” Says Lawyer.

But you know, one person can’t make a difference.  Now sit back, open another bag of potato chips and enjoy the rest of your pitiful powerless excuse of a life….

STOP PRESS!STOP PRESS!STOP PRESS!

High level interview with high level popoliceperson now translated to Engrish for benefit of our lesser readers:

A sweetie factory cum communal vegetairan dwelling place was raided and ransacked today and a number of cycles taken away by the Purleaze.

A high level popoliceperson was compelled to give a reason for the action and he stated that the cycles were in fact illegal, in his head anyway.

“THIS BIKE IS NOT A LEGAL MODEL!”  He said.  “We believe,  we believe,  we believe, we do believe that they will use it for something….NOT legal!  In COPENHAGEN!”

Like … uh…what, for example?

“Yeah BUT, this is what you see around Europe, and then we make an assessment…”

What is it the police think is illegal?

“Is it to cycle on,  when you find it on Lærkevej?  NO. Just like when you find somebody who wears a gasmask, and has pliers and masks,  you know, so we know it’s for something wery NOT legal.”

What sort of illegal activities do you honestly think you can use the cycles for?

“Um, well, we don’t know yet.  Ask my mum.  She’s over there, making the sandwiches.”

Mum indeed.

AND your mom.

To which I’d like to add:

Mr High Level Popo?

DID you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

AND:

YOUR MOM ….. is so dumb,  she sat on the TV and watched the SOFA.

In other news today…

http://politiken.dk/klima/Topmode_i_Kobenhavn/article860763.ece

“There is something wrong in Denmark.”

Well hellloooo, what took you so long?

Naomi Klein YOU ROCK. Headline: “The Danish need for control is a real problem.”

‘The Danish need for control is a real problem.’ – tell me about it, LOL!

‘DANISH NEED FOR CONTROL IS STIFLING CLIMATE DEBATE’ -Front page of The Guardian online.

All the Beautiful People.

It’s The People non elected who have made the COP15 thang a place of beauty and hope, as yesterdays huge demonstration of love for Planet Earth Life showed.

The arrests of nearly a thousand people, and the way in which these people were detained show Denmark’s agenda for what it is, and the incident has horrified a-plenty.  As with all major transgressions of justice in Denmark, the event will blow over and by this time next week,  everybody will have forgotten about it and be just getting their heads down, trying to hold onto their jobs and keeping a steady pace in their lane of the ratrace.

But yesterday stands as a success,  that people would come out in force and risk arrest to show loudly their feelings, and to stand up against what people call Capitalism, and what I call Greed.

Here is an excellent post from a Lady Activist who attended the demo,  and who describes the predominant love vibe:

Copenhagen Follies:  A DEMO DREAM.

The Climate Guantanamo. This is what ‘Danish Democracy looks like anno 2009′

Danish Democracy.

Journo to arrested peaceful protester: “Why have you been arrested?”

Peaceful Protester:  “They haven’t told us and we haven’t done anything so we don’t know and I don’t think they know either.  But I guess this is what Danish Democracy anno 2009 looks like.”

Journo:  “Why do you think you were chosen out of the crowd?”

Peaceful Protester:  “I have no idea and I don’t think the police officer knew either.”

Journo:  “What have they asked you for so far?”

Peaceful protester:  “They haven’t asked me for nothing but to follow them and to sit down.”

An eyewitness account:

“a group of us from london joined the main climate demonstration which headed off at 2pm and marched near the libertarian socialist block (note not a black block). After heading over the bridge next to christiania the march was fairly arbitarily boxed in by full riot police; it was massively fast and there was no warning. Everyone from masked people to green ngo’s and the danish section of the CWI were boxed in. Its pretty random as a great number of anarchists, with red and black flags were well ahead of the line. As the back line formed a couple of things were tossed, but this was well after the operation had begun – there is no question at all this was in reponse *to* things being thrown, the police vans were ready in the side street at the back and a line had already formed at the front before anything was chucked. The police have stated this was responisve mass arrest to attacks on a ministry and even suggested attempted arson on a car – if this happened it was miles away from the group they boxed in. I cannot vouch it did not happen, but it certainly didn’t happen at the time and place given.

The blocked section has been held for several hours now – lots of people have now returned to support them, but they pushed them several blocks back. In the gap between the supporters and the mass arrest they brought in two lines of attack dogs. They are arresting people in great numbers, everyone is sat on the floor with their hands cable tied, sat in straight rows. They are then loading them onto buses in the side street. I have seen them breaking up placrds and loading them into police vans along with random protest detritis, which could be used as evidence of weapons. “

My take on it, being someone who isn’t there, is just what the pictures and basic facts tell me, what people are telling me online  and that is that the police ‘handled’ the situation in a very inhumane way.

In the process of doing so, they handled it in such a way that the international eye is reporting the police action as questionable..  And Connie Hedegaard is a dick.

I haven’t got much more to say on the matter (Did I mention that Connie Hedegaard is a dick?) except that it was bang out of order to arrest such huge numbers of people (hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds) and then keep them handcuffed and seated on cold tarmac in MID FUCKING December,  for hours.  People were frozen and pissing themselves.  The police had their dogs out too, it was all really tragic, and it is highly likely this will cause more trouble than calm.

WRONGFUL ARREST now supported by the Danish law.

Roll out the bedlam.

Join the army and be with attractive people. Sure beats your life in Jutland.

Look at these beautiful lithe and svelte young people.  WOAH that guy is HOT. Look at the fun they are having,  they are so cool, they are really living.  Look at the strain those khaki pants are showing when that fair haired girl tumbles into the mire,  she is so FINE.  Would ya look at how those gorgeous fit kids can handle a gun, and handle a skateboard,  drop a bomb, have a refreshing drink and hang out, wear lipstick a la mode and have lovely smooth glossy skin?

Their skin is so clear, their eyes are so bright, their skin is so nice and glossy.

Nice and glossy?  Their skin will be nice and glossy when they are lying in their effing graves.   Shipping them back from Afuckinghanistan?  THE ARMY?    This advert??  Children watching it saying:  Mammy, I want to go there, that looks cool, like in a computer game cool, like a computer game and a film rolled into one.  Their frontal lobes not in their heads and they are lured into the army in all their daftness.

The above video is the latest in advertizing to entice hopeless hapless children to buy into a life as killing machines. Time to mobilize the Danski Childrens’ Army.

And lets face it, jobs are getting thin on the ground for the youth of this happy happy land.

Life is tough right now for the young generation.  The army still offers an EXPERIENCE.  When you join the army you get laid and have sexy mud fights with fair haired girls whose do not have double chins.  This is the reality, don’t doubt it for a second.

I suspect there won’t be any trouble tomorrow,  I suspect that the Arsethorities in Dunmark have got it all sorted,  the worst that will happen is the usual…lots of kids getting hit over the head and gassed.  You know, because ‘In Denmark we don’t hit kids’….whoops,  meaning:  only the kids who won’t do as they are TOLD.

I’ll just stay in my armchair and finish off the embroidery detail of the balaclava my granny knitted me shall I?  I tell ya, it takes pure grit to pace oneself.  I just have to finish breast feeding the twins (some time in 2012) and then I will be donning this here balaclava and protesting about SOMETHING.  I just hope i haven’t missed the boat.

Police raid sleeping quarters of several hundred activists CPH 3am

fucking activists again

In the wee small hours of last night,  a group of police clad bigtime in riot gear,  stomped up to the sleeping quarters of a place in CPH housing several hundred slumbering so called ‘activists’ from around the world.

The shame of it is that according to a spokeswoman for the ‘Climate Justice Action’ group, there was a ‘dialogue system’ in place which should have allowed for the riot police to give the CJA a little tinkle on the telephone to warn the activists “Alloalloallo!  We are on our way, put your knickers on!”

But no.  Riot police forgot all about a deal in the bumrush and couldn’t resist it.  Anyway, they were in search of DANGER.  And,  allegedly,  WEAPONS.

They did find a few teddy bears and the odd soft blanket,  but no real DANGER.  So after about an hour (allegedly) they left with some power tools,  a raw plug that was all bent out of shape, and some drawing pins.  All of which could of course be made into weapons of mass destruction if we don’t keep hassling these criminals who decide to take the law into their own hands.  God DAMN those suffragettes!!  God DAMN THEM TO HELL.

Thank god for our sensitive security services, ridding the world of one power tool at a time, and keeping US all safe in our beds at night, by waking up sleeping climate activists.

Those activists need to be stamped out and forced to eat yesterdays ryebread and fishpaste.

I say:  send em back where they came from!  We don’t want you long haired perka lovers here:  so don’t think we’ll roll out the red carpet FOR YOU!

Oh and hahahaha, did you hear the one about the carefully worded document that suggested that the poor people suck it up?  Yeah, me too.  A friend translated it for me, because she much better to engrish than me am.  But it was clear,  BUSINESS AS USUAL,  and sod the poor,  just their karma innit?

And remember folks…activists could be all around you. Keep an eye open, and remember to report any suspicious activity to your local law enforcers, we just can’t take any chances in this climate of fear and terror.

Think of the children,  folks, think of the children.

Links to informative news (obviously give the DanePress a wide berth):

With up to 30,000 activists gathering in Copenhagen, there are five key days when the Danish authorities will be preparing for trouble

Danish Police raid CPH climate campaigners’ rooms

AN ACTIVIST’S GUIDE TO COPENHAGEN.

The activists’ circus comes to CPH.

GAZA’S CHILDREN.

We knew this: Denmark – a wasteful society despite the hype.

The Los Angeles Times has written a little indictment of Danish society.

“Denmark’s green credentials obscure some unpleasant facts”

My take on this has always been that commonly people calling themselves Danes are bigger consumers than people calling themselves American,  for example.  A quick nose or trip down memory lane around the family homes of the Americans I have known shows that the parents tend to be more thoughtful about what comes into the house than is common among the people who call themselves Danes I know or have known.

Denmark has had some great intentions. One of the reasons we chose to be here was at the time, we were acting in good faith,  Denmark APPEARED to be green.  It was sure coming up with a lot of green intentions.  All that ceiling lowering etc.

However, the myths about Denmark don’t stand up long under even the simplest scrutiny.

The Los Angeles Times article touches apon the fact that the people who call themselves Danes chomp through unfeasibly heavy amounts of animal flesh day in and day out all year.  Denmark is fat not phat, and probably spends a lot on constipation remedies. I don’t know though, because I don’t want to be the one to look it up.

Perhaps a newspaper will do an article on how constipated Denmark is.

The article quotes a big wig expert on the situation, who mentions how “happy and self satisified”  the people calling themselves Danes have been.  We’ve been freaking happy and self satisfied about how happy and self satisfied we are here, on Denmark, the glittering Isle of all that is right and on the ‘right track’.

Hoorah for the Los Angeles Times!  For that.

Denmark embarrassed, shoves evidence under carpet at last minute and affects suitably remorseful expression.

Read the full article in the British newspaper The Guardian, headlined:

Copenhagen summit: Denmark rushes in laws to stop carbon trading scam

Climate change summit host embarrassed as criminals make most of lax laws to pocket VAT on emissions trading

I think it’s obvious that the point of me suggesting you read this article is to witness the brown nosing Denmark is doing,  rather than the criminal swindling now suitably shoved under carpet.

http://www.flickr.com/groups/amessagetocopenhagen/ (The Guardian’s Flickr.

Read also:

Exclusive: World’s leading climate change expert says summit talks so flawed that deal would be a disaster.

Copenhagen climate change talks must fail, says top scientist.