40 good and bad things about Denmark

GOOD

1. The beaches are simple and clean and look rather pretty in winter or summer.
2. One always feels so exotic and interesting and fast witted here.
3. You don’t have to lock your door if you live in a rural area because the small chance of being robbed makes it worth it.
4. The shops are not open during the times when people who work are around in essence it means you save a  lot of money because you can’t buy anything.
5. The buses run on time.
6. It’s the home of LEGO so that’s kind of neat.
7. There are no poisonous animals.
8. Ditto earth quakes (I must admit I am getting help from a 10 year old with this).
9. There are no nuclear reactors here ( I am resisting the urge to point out that Sweden put theirs as close to Denmark as possible).
10. The summers here are picture book chocolate box perfect in terms of the colours.
11. If you drink it can be very cheap to stay sloshed and nobody will judge you (okay, I’m going off at a tangent, I don’t think this is good).
12. The cakes.  The cakes and bread.
13. It’s okay to be fat here, as is the norm.  Even the teenage girls (so skinny in London for example) have pot jelly bellies.
14. If you like cafe culture and have a lot of money and don’t mind overhearing the same conversations, it’s a great place to hang out if you like that sort of thing.
15. You can tell people you’ve lived in the birth place of Hans Christian Anderson.
16. Denmark is a great education.  If this is the happiest place on earth then please don’t show me the saddest.
17. Children are all in daycare from six months so that frees up a lot of time. I guess.
18. Danes are sweet and innocent.
19. If you are from the USA you can live here and say you’ve lived in Europe, which it really is.  Denmark is the poster child of Europe, and that is going to be a great story to tell the grandchildren.
20. It doesn’t get too hot.
21. There is lots of snow and snow can be fun.
22. People like to do cozy and snuggle on the sofa.
23. If you don’t want to be married to someone you can just divorce then and carry on with the rest of your life (warning: this only applies to dane on dane marriages and not to mixed culture marriages here).
24. You can leave your kids unattended and you won’t get done for it.  Even really small babies.
25. It’s really small so you don’t have to spend hours in the car to get anywhere.
26. There’s a lot of ecological foodstuff to choose from in the supermarkets.
27. Free gift wrapping service
28. Free samples at the beauty counter and during food promotions.
29. There is always a party to go to.
30. If you like fish you can really pig out.
31. If you like going topless on the beach nobody will arrest you.
32. Cycling.
33. Stuff is left outside supermarkets at night and it hardly gets stolen, which gives one a sense of living somewhere where people don’t need to steal.
34. New Years Eve is done like they do it in films.
35. Free Speech, anybody can say what they like without fear of reprisal.
36. Equality, everybody is equal here and the handicapped get gold plated wheelchairs.
37. Free schools … schools are free here.  You do not have to pay a single kroner for children for the schooling they get from 8am until 4.30 pm.
38. The Penal system.  Sentences are really lenient here,   and one can do murder and only get three years or even nothing (if it is a family member and they goad you).
39. Babies.  Babies are left unattended in carts outside all the drinking establishments.  It is so safe here nobody cares.
40. Safety.  Denmark is so safe that there are no crimes.  Nobody gets burgled,  nobody gets raped and above all nobody gets their car stolen.
41. Happiest Place on Earth, apart from North Korea of course.  Denmark is the happiest place on Earth, everybody is so happy and you can see it in their happy smiling faces.
42. Low suicide rate.  Because Denmark is so happy the suicide rate is so low.  Last year there were only 7 suicides in the whole of Denmark and three of those were mercy suicides so do not count.
43. International community.  The international community in Denmark is thriving.  There are more people moving to Denmark than leaving and the buzz is spreading all over the world that Denmark is the place to be.
44. The educational system here is second to none.
45. Multi culturalism and tolerance.  Denmark has embraced its immigrants and all schools teach understanding and rejoicing in differences.
46. Human Rights.  Denmark has a spotless record when it comes to human rights, and has twice recieved the Worlds Best Treater of Humans award from Sting.
47. Vikings.  Vikings come from Denmark.

BAD THINGS ABOUT DENMARK.

1.  The seasons are insane.  One extreme to the other.  six months of extreme  cold and snow and having to wear a duvet coat with legs (obviously Canadians and Eskimos have no probs with this) and then stark bright sunlight bouncing off impossibly blue skies and garish yellow fields of rape.
2. The people are odd.  So unless you are the same sort of odd you are going to hate it here.
3. Really limited food choices.
4. Funny opening hours at the shops.  They close when people get out of work…WTF????
5. Sexual overtones..it is not unusual to find porm mags next to childrens comics.
6. The landscape: really boring despite its summer prettiness,  one starts to yearn for hills and mountains.
7. Horrid new breed of expats being paid by government think tanks to pretend Denmark is a viable option for people with children.  EVIL MOFOS.
8. No veggie option.  Veggie option in Denmark is chicken or fish.  Many Danes do not understand what the word Vegan means and think it is something to do with diabetes.
9. Arrogance.  Denmark thinks it is the best place in the world, which is really embarrassing because North Korea is.
10. Bathrooms..its really rare to find a bathroom with a bath in it here. If you want to get properly clean you need a bath.

As you can see, the positives about Denmark far outweigh the negatives, so I would suggest, if you are thinking of moving here and are one of the many many hundreds of people who come to this blog on the searches:

“good and bad things about Denmark”

“should i move to Denmark”

“are danish people friendly”

“is denmark a good place to live”

etc, then you just move here, start a blog and tell the world.

 I suppose I am being irresponsible but to be quite frank, I am feeling playful.

xxx