V is for Wicktory.

Now a few of the most hardcore evangelist Newbie extremist expats woiking for the government are beginning to create balanced missives available to the public (i.e:  not just spouting right wing horrors and tourist board type propaganda) I feel my job is at least half way done.  This blog was created to answer back to the new wave of naive peoples being washed up on Danish shores who had a drum to bang and a new life to prove and who engaged in a lot of arrogant:  “Denmark is this, Denmark is that,  Denmark is Top of the Tops and all immigrants except me and my mates should be deported” type crap,  because without some kind of challenge those peoples would seriously derail the truth and matter of fact train Denmark needs to make a few stops IN Denmark.

But yes, like I say, my sources inform me through the marvel of ‘cut, stick and put in an email’ technology that the previously mentioned evangelists have wiped the mist from their rose tinted glasses and climbed down off their high horses to begin to write semi balanced posts about Denmark in among all the innocuous and sweet family bulletins, posts about tinned goods and the price of fish and the highly offensive and uneducated diatribes about immigration and refugees in Denmark (or for that matter, any where in the world,  so long as refugee means ‘brown person’).

So let’s just call it a Victory shall we? Our campaign to raise awareness has paid off and it is now a thing of the past that wholly biased and unbalanced pieces about life in Denmark are being fed to curious people who search for answers before moving here.

It’s all I wanted.  Not a mudslinging match, not the bitchybitchy personals, I just wanted the afore mentioned peoples to become LESS extreme just to give people who read their blogs a chance to see that Denmark isn’t sunshine and flowers and that it also includes flies (pigshit) and badmanners (institutionalisation).  Amongst other things.

It’s too much to expect compassionate and intelligent posts about the plight of the immigrant but I am the sort of person who is willing to accept a little babystep in the right direction as being a wery wery good sign.

I can now retire from Danish Expat Blog politics and hand over the reins to anyothersod who cares to wade into these murky waters filled with leeches and bastards. But understand, if the Expat Extremists Woiking for the Government start up again with their seriously misleading propaganda, I’ll wade back in with all guns blazing to sort out any hippos which we all know, despite the fearsome teeth of the tiger, are much more dangerous due to their heft and temper.

Comments are now closed on this blog, so sorry if you can’t make your voice heard, any comments will go straight to moderation and lie there gathering dust.  I refer you to the following expat-in-Denmark blogs:

ADVENTURES AND JAPES IN DENMARK    – a blog by a highly qualified scientist/teacher and activist.  Happy in Denmark with her lot without losing touch with the fates of those who have not been so fortunate as to land on their feet and be the right color, she blogs about what life is like in Denmark, what it is not like, and all in between.

THIS INDONESIAN    -  written by a long time resident of Denmark and Scandinavia,  hailing originally from Indonesia.  A journal full of observations about life in Denmark.

MY LIFE AS A FOREIGNER IN DENMARK   – Lindsay is a newcomer to Denmark and is here for a short term with view to experiencing the culture and having an enriching experience.  Her witty blog is like a glass of soda on a hot day.  Just don’t eat the lemon at the bottom because it’s all soggy.

ONLY IN DENMARK  – factual news site relating the news about Denmark

A TEXAN IN DENMARK  – entertaining blog about life in Denmark from a classic Texan point of view.  Mainly for family and friends of the author but occasionally veers off into highly political opinion posts about refugees,  immigrants and the power of positive thoughts.  A bit like Marmite, you’ll either love it or or hate it,  but one things for sure, you’ll keep coming back! (Until your friends stage an intervention and point out that the weather is lovely outside and wouldn’t your life be better spent doing something that makes you feel good?)

DON’T COME TO DENMARK – rumored to be a blog written by a vagrant who lives at the train station in Copenhagen and eats out of bins. The author of this blog leads us through his anger and disillusionments about life in Denmark in a way that no other expat blogger about life in Denmark has done to date.

So that’s it then.

Don’t mention it.  You are welcome.

xxx

Denmark’s cheerleaders behaving in a misguided way.

“Rohde added that there were worrying signs that Denmark was gaining a reputation internationally as a country that is unfriendly to outsiders…”

Here is the link.

BORDER CONTROLS TAKE A TOLL ON TOURISM.

I am so glad Denmark is being brought down a peg or two. Not because I want to see people here suffer any more than they have to, but because the Denmark I know and love wasn’t hell bent on trying to prove itself to be something else to the rest of the world.  Certain money spinning offices within Denmark have been on a massive PA drive for the last five years and have been employing ‘insiders’ – a new breed of driven ‘Supa-expats’ to do the dirty propaganda work.  A very small number of ex-travel reps, salespeople and those who really can’t go back without a medal. Being here is not their original job and they tend to be spouses at a lose end in search of something to fill their lives up until there is no room to admit any mistakes..

The cheerleaders are being employed by the state to further the cause of Internationals in Denmark (not refugees of course, we’ll just sweep them under the carpet because they will never get it together to contribute to an International society in Denmark, I mean, what WOULD they bring to a pot luck dinner and a talk about Danish culture? Bomb soup? Muslim salad?  Female Genital Mutilation and Feta in a pitta? ). The government bit off more than they can chew there.  Because what they didn’t realise is that the aforementioned cheerleaders have hijacked the cause for their own personal need.  All that energy left over from spending time with their kids and having really demanding jobs…it’s morphing into a whole new movement. And the hype about Denmark is misleading.

And these supa-expat cheerleaders have a very strained air about them. They have a lot to prove. They get into moods and deny them.

If you have to ‘CHOOSE’ to be happy on a daily basis then there is something wrong and you shouldn’t go round telling other people how they should run their immigrant experience, when your own is so transparently full of holes.

You are no better than the non contributing Somalian Grandmother you so revile for never being about to join you on your expat merry go round.  You are no better than the bored and marginalised soon to be radicalised ‘invandrer’ kid who smokes hash day in day out.And yet, and yet…you act like you think you have the market cornered. That you are better.

Any human knows happiness and sadness, but I tell you this, one thing for sure, if we have to wake each day and  make a conscious CHOICE to CHOOSE to be happy in Denmark (or anywhere in fact) it is a sure sign we are not happy in our hearts.  And what’s wrong with a bit of sadness?  It tends to be bookended with happiness anyway, you moron. I don’t, as it happens, wake up each day and say “I CHOOSE HAPPINESS!” I wake up each day and say “I choose to take it as it comes and do my best but not to brush stuff under the carpet if it ails, and to stick up for those who can’t stick up for themselves.”  But that’s my way of life, and yeah, I guess I chose that, but at least I am not going around bandying the biggest load of crap on this planet that happiness in Denmark is dependent on whether you ‘choose’ to be happy.  Bollocks, serious bollocks that.

I tell you what, happiness comes to me like a little bird.  It flies in, it flies out, I don’t command it and put it in a cage.  The caged bird soon becomes listless.  It looks pretty, the feathers are still there, but it wants to fly it’s own way.  You got your happiness all stitched up like a bird with it’s wings clipped.  Woopedoop, you can say you got it.  And you deny the right of others here to SAY IT LIKE IT IS, and accuse people of being haters?  Good lord.  You look too old to be that young.

You can’t command happiness because it has a fluid quality.  I see bony grasping hand around happiness throat when you speak of your own peculiar brand of ‘choice happiness’.  Don’t you realise that because you spend so much time trying to convince people you are happy it seems like you are the opposite.  People who claim to be that ‘choosing to be happy’?  By all accounts moody sulky mofos in real life who appear to be trying to hard. Although, be my guest to try. And if you don’t admit that,  that happiness is not some kind of truth but some kind of blessing,  that you can merely choose it and anyone who doesn’t is somehow less, if you carry on claiming that Denmark is only as good or bad as YOUR self control and how freaking ‘postivietleriytooty’ one can appear to be, then you are…and here I say it: FOOLING YOURSELF AND OTHERS WHO CARE TO NOTICE YOU.

Gloves:  off.

And stop calling anyone who doesn’t agree with your ‘CHOOSE HAPPINESS’ militancy of being haters.  The overwhelming sentiment has always been concern.

But yes, let’s talk about choice.  I am going to bang you upside your cyber head with your own CHOOOSING  (I am against actual violence in any real terms).

Let’s talk about the choices you make.

YOU CHOOSE TO FEEL HATED.  When nobody hates.  They are challenging you yes,  but hate? I think that is coming from you. Flaming?  Go private.  I know I did.  And do.  What kind of an idjit posts regular posts about immigration in Denmark IN THIS DAY AND AGE and then winces and whines about the ensuing comments?

And Denmark is what it is.  And you are trying to make it something it’s not.  And it is pretty handy you got a job in that department because I’d hate to think of you being one of those ghastly broken foreigners who can’t ‘do lunch’.

AND…AND…AND

and.

 

there ain’t nuthin wrong with being sad sometime. and if you are a foreigner in Denmark, there is a LOT to be sad about right now, so STFU you silly, ignorant, arrogant behaving woman.

 

 

About the Responsibility of Immigrants.

“Dear Babsalicious The Delicious,

I am sick and tired of hearing from immigrants who come here and start spouting the lines normally only heard from the Tourist Board or the Government about Denmark being akin to some kind of joyride give or take the odd little hiccup understanding the language or shop opening times.  These people know nothing about the genuine hardship occurring in Denmark today, partly brought on by the current governmental administration, and supported by a closed and xenophobic culture that refuses to change in the light of global changes.

I work on the frontline in Denmark with people who suffer very greatly at the hands of Denmarks crazy system and increasingly closed culture and I would like to say here that this new breed of expats and immigrants appear to be dreadfully naive and in some cases too headstrong, ignorant and naive to beggar belief!

What are they ON?

Please keep blogging to counteract these misguided and imbalanced individuals because I know you get a hell of a lot of traffic on your site and because I know that this leads to about five to six email queries a week from people either in Denmark or thinking about Denmark who need support or clarification.  Many of whom have read all about the ‘Happiest place on Earth’ or seen Oprah’s misguided segment on life here or read blogs of evangelical and naive expats who have been here for less than five years, have no real understanding of Denmark’s modern history and are on some kind of ‘I must I must I must prove i did the right thing or die’ mission in order to save face and justify their relocation.

Please keep up the good work because not before the tourist board got an extra lump sum around Mary and Frederiks wedding has there been so much misleading waffle spouted about Denmark.

I even heard of this chick who was brain damaged and in a relationship with a Dane who did not care for her and refused to commit who was encouraged to come here time and time again when it was obviously not the right thing at all.  Vulnerable individuals are being zoned in on, lovebombed and then lured with false platitudes to get here just in order to swell numbers when what really should be said is that Denmark is only for the very thick skinned and even refugees should try and get to the UK or anywhere but here.  It is not advisable to be a foreigner in Denmark even if your husband does work for Siemens.  About the most anybody should embark on is a years study, and then, hell yes, that will be fun, but for the love of god, think very carefully before you commit or have a big farewell party with your family and burn bridges.  Lots of foreigners are still here precisely because they made a big deal out of coming here and they feel they are not allowed to just GO HOME.

Nobody is claiming Denmark is an out and out shit hole, but to put it forward as a viable option for families to station themselves in, or to claim that the draconian integration schemes are humanistic is an outrage. I am also finding the suggestion that it is the immigrants responsbility to fit in with the Danish way lest they offend the danes or rock the boat to be highly toxic.  The notion is disgusting when you consider the reasons why a lot of ‘immigrants’ are here and that in actual fact, Denmark needs to adjust a lot more to new cultures before the immigrants have a wide spread chance of adjusting to Denmark.

Lots of love

XXXXXXXX ( a DANE)

P.s: could it not be that one of the responsibilities of immigrants is to not be so fucking arrogant as to presume they know anything about Denmark or better than those who have been immigrants here for a lot longer?”

40 good and bad things about Denmark

GOOD

1. The beaches are simple and clean and look rather pretty in winter or summer.
2. One always feels so exotic and interesting and fast witted here.
3. You don’t have to lock your door if you live in a rural area because the small chance of being robbed makes it worth it.
4. The shops are not open during the times when people who work are around in essence it means you save a  lot of money because you can’t buy anything.
5. The buses run on time.
6. It’s the home of LEGO so that’s kind of neat.
7. There are no poisonous animals.
8. Ditto earth quakes (I must admit I am getting help from a 10 year old with this).
9. There are no nuclear reactors here ( I am resisting the urge to point out that Sweden put theirs as close to Denmark as possible).
10. The summers here are picture book chocolate box perfect in terms of the colours.
11. If you drink it can be very cheap to stay sloshed and nobody will judge you (okay, I’m going off at a tangent, I don’t think this is good).
12. The cakes.  The cakes and bread.
13. It’s okay to be fat here, as is the norm.  Even the teenage girls (so skinny in London for example) have pot jelly bellies.
14. If you like cafe culture and have a lot of money and don’t mind overhearing the same conversations, it’s a great place to hang out if you like that sort of thing.
15. You can tell people you’ve lived in the birth place of Hans Christian Anderson.
16. Denmark is a great education.  If this is the happiest place on earth then please don’t show me the saddest.
17. Children are all in daycare from six months so that frees up a lot of time. I guess.
18. Danes are sweet and innocent.
19. If you are from the USA you can live here and say you’ve lived in Europe, which it really is.  Denmark is the poster child of Europe, and that is going to be a great story to tell the grandchildren.
20. It doesn’t get too hot.
21. There is lots of snow and snow can be fun.
22. People like to do cozy and snuggle on the sofa.
23. If you don’t want to be married to someone you can just divorce then and carry on with the rest of your life (warning: this only applies to dane on dane marriages and not to mixed culture marriages here).
24. You can leave your kids unattended and you won’t get done for it.  Even really small babies.
25. It’s really small so you don’t have to spend hours in the car to get anywhere.
26. There’s a lot of ecological foodstuff to choose from in the supermarkets.
27. Free gift wrapping service
28. Free samples at the beauty counter and during food promotions.
29. There is always a party to go to.
30. If you like fish you can really pig out.
31. If you like going topless on the beach nobody will arrest you.
32. Cycling.
33. Stuff is left outside supermarkets at night and it hardly gets stolen, which gives one a sense of living somewhere where people don’t need to steal.
34. New Years Eve is done like they do it in films.
35. Free Speech, anybody can say what they like without fear of reprisal.
36. Equality, everybody is equal here and the handicapped get gold plated wheelchairs.
37. Free schools … schools are free here.  You do not have to pay a single kroner for children for the schooling they get from 8am until 4.30 pm.
38. The Penal system.  Sentences are really lenient here,   and one can do murder and only get three years or even nothing (if it is a family member and they goad you).
39. Babies.  Babies are left unattended in carts outside all the drinking establishments.  It is so safe here nobody cares.
40. Safety.  Denmark is so safe that there are no crimes.  Nobody gets burgled,  nobody gets raped and above all nobody gets their car stolen.
41. Happiest Place on Earth, apart from North Korea of course.  Denmark is the happiest place on Earth, everybody is so happy and you can see it in their happy smiling faces.
42. Low suicide rate.  Because Denmark is so happy the suicide rate is so low.  Last year there were only 7 suicides in the whole of Denmark and three of those were mercy suicides so do not count.
43. International community.  The international community in Denmark is thriving.  There are more people moving to Denmark than leaving and the buzz is spreading all over the world that Denmark is the place to be.
44. The educational system here is second to none.
45. Multi culturalism and tolerance.  Denmark has embraced its immigrants and all schools teach understanding and rejoicing in differences.
46. Human Rights.  Denmark has a spotless record when it comes to human rights, and has twice recieved the Worlds Best Treater of Humans award from Sting.
47. Vikings.  Vikings come from Denmark.

BAD THINGS ABOUT DENMARK.

1.  The seasons are insane.  One extreme to the other.  six months of extreme  cold and snow and having to wear a duvet coat with legs (obviously Canadians and Eskimos have no probs with this) and then stark bright sunlight bouncing off impossibly blue skies and garish yellow fields of rape.
2. The people are odd.  So unless you are the same sort of odd you are going to hate it here.
3. Really limited food choices.
4. Funny opening hours at the shops.  They close when people get out of work…WTF????
5. Sexual overtones..it is not unusual to find porm mags next to childrens comics.
6. The landscape: really boring despite its summer prettiness,  one starts to yearn for hills and mountains.
7. Horrid new breed of expats being paid by government think tanks to pretend Denmark is a viable option for people with children.  EVIL MOFOS.
8. No veggie option.  Veggie option in Denmark is chicken or fish.  Many Danes do not understand what the word Vegan means and think it is something to do with diabetes.
9. Arrogance.  Denmark thinks it is the best place in the world, which is really embarrassing because North Korea is.
10. Bathrooms..its really rare to find a bathroom with a bath in it here. If you want to get properly clean you need a bath.

As you can see, the positives about Denmark far outweigh the negatives, so I would suggest, if you are thinking of moving here and are one of the many many hundreds of people who come to this blog on the searches:

“good and bad things about Denmark”

“should i move to Denmark”

“are danish people friendly”

“is denmark a good place to live”

etc, then you just move here, start a blog and tell the world.

 I suppose I am being irresponsible but to be quite frank, I am feeling playful.

xxx