Danes love: SAYING they don’t understand why internationals are largely not interesting in living here once their contract/education expires.

Did you get that?

Quite a mouthful.

There is a new thing.  On the one hand danshish no like dirty foreigner,  danshish want dirty foreigner go home.  And on the other *fawn* *simper* Danshish want internationals to desperately want to be here and love it.

There have been rumors of little think tanks and feedback bureaus cropping up in areas of the land where they already have electricity (nowhere north or West of Randers then). Internationals are trotted in and asked “Why don’t you like it here?  What can we do?  What do you like?  Why don’t you eat ryebread?  What’s wrong with sunbed tans?  Why don’t you give your kids booze?  Why are you dressed so modestly?” sort of get-to-know-you how-can-we-manipulate-you sort of questions.

APPARENTLY, some danes, some denish industry, some danshish politicians feel it is in Denmark’s best interests to get highly qualified people over here (as long as they don’t wear a burka or have a big heavy beard and scowl) and KEEP them here!

Now isn’t that darling?

Now I have this label pasted on me by people who know not one jot about me and that is that I am a cruel hearted bitch who would stamp out danshish wherever I find it.  But tis not so.  I find the Danish quaint, and I don’t want them to let themselves down.

So in the interests of helping all those bigwigs at the think tanks, because I read and trace my stats and some of them read from government servers,  and I know someone out there is looking for an answer and I think the question is:  What can Demark do to ATTRACT and KEEP the movers and shakers from the international world?

Here goes, this, Danmark, is what you can do:

• stop telling us how to bring up our kids.  We don’t want to do it the Danish way.  That might be alright for you lot, but we just don’t get it, and we have our own ways and you can shove it.  In other words:  we know what we are doing and we don’t appreciate your quack psychology pædagogisk bollox about how kids need to stay in nappies until they are four or they get damaged, for example.  Or that kids are better off in daycare, for example. Or that kids need the Danish cultural values to be able to hack it in Denmark.  We want our kids to be who they are not who you think they should be.
• stop treating us like pariahs for not getting handball, it’s not a sport for men.
• stop being so jovial about booze,  it’s a killer and your countrymen all have purple noses.
• let us be
• educate you children not to pick the odd one out in stupid cheap photocopied lesson sheets, but to notice the herd and be suspicious of it.
• respect excellence without getting all brown nosey about it.
• stop expecting your unemployed to work for their welfare…this robs the black market of valuable domestic workers who need to use the time to clean our houses and babysit our kids so we can go get our nails done.
• increase the amount of foreign languages taught in your schools.  German doesn’t count.
• Ditto Norwegian.
• Try Spanish and English…or American English and Canadian.
• Start paying foreigners to set up cultural centers here, anyone but a Dane will do.  Ban Danish comedy – it’s not funny and it is actually physically painful to watch.   It-is-not-funny.
• Allow other flags to be flown above the Dannebrog, that is one weird ruling you got there.
• Admit what happened in Denmark in the 30’s and 40’s.  Apologise to Greenland and Iceland.
• Ban the use of ‘black and white minstrels’ in advertising and at fancy dress parties.
• gag the DFP they are so embarrassing.
• ditto the social democrats, omygod they are even worse.
• Make walmarts and Target happen.
• Reduce tax on shipped in goods from out of EU – what happened to the free market???
• Pour money into subliminal advertising campaigns that reeducate the masses and train them to be more appreciative and grateful that a foreigner would come here at all,  after all, your youth all wishes it lived in London ffs.
• And obviously,  do away with the stupid idea of integration.  Do you expect a french man to be French if he moves to England? No. Then why expect us to be Danish just because we live here?

Jeeze.

Anyone else got any ideas because half of mine are ill concieved and not thought through.  Can’t be bothered to edit, but you get the raw idea no?