Happy Christmas in advance (for tomorrow)..

Well, it’s christmas eve.  The night that one eats a light supper, preferably fish,  a quiet night, restrained and genteel,  with the background hush of delicate expectancy.

This is the night children go to bed early,  full of excitement at the prospect of waking early IN THE MORNING and opening their presents in their pajamas.

So even though it is the day BEFORE Christmas, I’d like to wish those of you celebrating Christmas TOMORROW,  a very happy Christmas.

For tomorrow, not for today, because today isn’t Christmas, it’s the day BEFORE Christmas.

And Christmas falls on the 25th, as you all know.

Danish Government will have children from international families forced into early childcare.

http://politiken.dk/politik/article866639.ece – an article in Politiken about how the governing forces, supported in all probability by the Danish population at large,  wish to control how ‘immigrants’ parent their children.

http://politiken.dk/newsinenglish/article867140.ece- being a rather crap translation of the above article into English.

Here’s the thing.  Danske Folke Parti,  The Social Democrats and the Socialist Folkeparti in Denmark all agree.  They back each other up when it comes to the forcing of children into early childcare here.  According to them, the illegal ‘gang’ activity in Denmark is created by parents who don’t send their kids into early daycare.  Namely:  international or ‘immigrant’ families.

My translation of Pia Pisshead’s latest offering:  “The social services shall get involved in the lives of the ’strained’ families,  who they can see will only hatch bandmembers in a few years.  The social services will demand that the youngest international children aged 0-3 years are put in early Danish childcare.  Let us just grab the root of the weed and say that it is especially immigrant families who are totally closed in in their own world who this would affect.”  Said party leader Pia Kjærsgaard.”

Compare with the Politiken english translation:

“Social services should go to those vulnerable families that they can see will produce gang members in a few years and demand that the children are sent to crèches. Let’s grab the problem at its core and say – this is basically immigrant families who are completely closed into their own closed world,” says DF Leader Pia Kjærsgaard,”

and the original danish version:

»De sociale myndigheder skal gå ind i de belastede familier, som de kan se vil kunne udklække bandemedlemmer om nogle år, og kræve, at børnene kommer i vuggestue. Lad os da bare tage fat om nældens rod og sige, at det især er indvandrerfamilier, som er fuldstændig lukket inde i deres egen lukkede verden«, siger partileder Pia Kjærsgaard,”

Now see, this highlights how people are translating Danish into English.  It simply can’t be done if one glosses over how people in Denmark speak.  One cannot simply translate the words into what works best in English, one needs to translate it so one can hear what was ACTUALLY said.  Of course it isn’t palatable, but what Pia said was she wanted to pull up the fucking weeds by placing children from international families into Danish daycare and away from their families before they become part of their family.

What is so typical is that the DF is supported by the social democrats and by the SF’ers too.  Which gives kudos to my assertion that it is perfectly alright to generalise about you fucking ‘Danes’ because when push comes to shove, you pretty much agree.

Danish customs and ways above all else, and when they shit hits the fan, let’s go piss all over the ‘foreigners’.

I am Danish, to all intents and purposes, I have the necessary credentials to make me what people would recognize as being Danish on paper.  But I won’t join this idiot band of nationlists.

You are MOSTLY in the overwhelming MAJORITY all idiots, for your quack democracy, your flimsy ideas about free speech and dialog.  It is a joke.

Apparently there are already laws in place that allow the local authorities (kommuner) the power to place children in early daycare.

International/immigrant/refugee families are targeted.  I’ve seen them be targetted.  The most strained families are less likely to be those left to their own devices, and more likely to be those who have the kommuner on their backs.  I’ve witnessed a so called ‘Danish’ woman, herself keeping her own kids at home until the age of 3, reporting her foreign neighbor for doing the same thing,  claiming that the children needed to be integrated.  I’ve witnessed a lot of Danish people reporting others for not being ‘Danish parents’.  You are a bunch of nutters.

The only people locked in their own world are the Danes.  And that is why, I have so little respect for you.

Don’t bother trying to suggest that if I don’t like it here I should leave,  because I will only leave when I am finished here, and I am not finished yet.

Au contraire, quite the opposite, it looks like this may only be the beginning.

So I am quite happy to ruin the idea that Denmark is all about windmills and pleasant walks in the forest, when I know that the most vulnerable layers of society here are getting beat up on a regular basis and carrying the blame for what is, essentially, a rotten society.

So enjoy the selfish gluttony that is ‘Julaften’,  and have a nice time with your ‘family’.  Be sure and do what yer mother Pia Pisshead says.

Rest assured, Danish values are protected,  and there will be enough sauce to pass all around the table and back again.

I have no respect for you.

My mate Fidel.

Coming soon, my mate Fidel speaks out against Danish police state.

Life eh?  You stand and wait for a bus that doesn’t come, then all of a sudden, three come at once.

“If anything significant was achieved in the Danish capital, it was that the media coverage allowed the world public to watch the political chaos created there and the humiliating treatment accorded to Heads of States or Governments, ministers and thousands of representatives of social movements and institutions that in hope and expectation traveled to the Summit’s venue in Copenhagen. The brutal repression of peaceful protesters by the police was a reminder of the behavior of the Nazi assault troops that occupied neighboring Denmark on April 1940.” Sez our Fid.

From left: seasonticket, fuzzy, Our Fid, Babs and Mr Manky.

P.s:  Fidel,  I know you are still waiting for your membership pack, but I am going to have to send the T-shirt and bumper stickers on ahead,  we are all out of badges and hats.  Oops, and a reminder:  we need a current photograph so we can get your membership card laminated.  Do you want a red or a blue background on that?  I can’t remember what you said, last night is such a haze,  but remember, you have a choice, this is a FREE SPEECH democracy, so you are not limited in what you can and cannot choose as your background color, so long as it’s red or blue.  xx love ya xx thanks for last night, YOU WERE AMAZING!!!

Protests in Sweden at Danish Royal Consulate. Activists attempt to preventatively arrest staff.

See the pictures and articles translated from Swedish here:

http://indymedia.dk/articles/1981

“According to a press release the demonstrators planned to “preventively arrest the staff to stop more mass arrests and because the danish state violates the human rights”.

Gratis! Jul!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVddj0ens7g

-clip (not shown on Danish tv) of the Greenpeace activists saying hello to the queen COP15, hahahha, big danish popolicepo couldn’t stop them but watch the following link to see what they could EASILY do…ahhhahahaha, still funny after a week.

Teaching the Danshish: PARODY.

I have started deleting comments from self professed Danshish or Danskied with tails and forked tongues who hiss and spit and seem to be rather more angry than a blog of this tragi-comic merit deserves.

So in an effort to help, I will now begin a new series entitled:  Teaching the Danshish. I will use simple pictograms or youtube and keep my words to an absolute minimum.

Today, I teaching the Danshish about PARODY.  Using youtube Shakira.

See?  Now do you get it?  Next week: Teaching the Danshish:  ‘Police Violence’ (using youtube and Celine Dion).

God Jul! Gratis.

I’ve decided to move Jul forward this year.

So: God Jul!

Slut. Prut.

Thank goodness that is over.

Tadzio Müller released.

Tadzio Müller gave the following speech after his release:

“In the last two weeks in Copenhagen,we witnessed one abject failure,
and one resounding success. The obvious failure is that of the COP15:
not only did the summit not deliver the drastic and just emissions
reductions that are necessary, it in fact failed to deliver anything
at all. The success is that of the global climate justice movement,
which organised spectacular, large and inspiring actions, where
activists from all over the world came together and created a new
common ground on which to continue the fight for global justice.
Finally, the failure of the COP highlights the importance of social
movement, pressure from below, and civil disobedience in the face of
the climate crisis”.

CJA’s spokespersons have openly explained the purpose of the action
and told about the non-violent basis and still spokespersons are now
facing charges of planning violence. This is absurd. Tadizos reply to
his arrest was:

“The Danish government’s appallingly disproportionate reaction, the
political policing used to jail some 1800 activists for nothing at
all, targeting of media spokespeople; using tear gas, pepper spray,
mass cages, baton charges and mass preemptive arrests; sets a
precedent dangerous not only for Denmark, but for the future of the
world.”

SOURCE:  indymedia.dk.

COP15 a success: The Myth of ‘The Wonderful Danish System’ in ruins.

Thanks to international support, a proper protest against greed, profit and exploitation was arranged and carried out.  ALL WEEK.

The scenes of violent mass arrest were witnessed and questioned world wide. Protesters both peaceful and troubling have gone back to their home countries and carried on the conversations that began here.

To some, what has happened here might seem like a failure, a flop.  Take heart:  the word is out.

The shame of the ultimate failure…the fact that it was possible and easy to beat a thousand innocent people with a stick, but that three people could breach the ‘tightest security’ (Greenpeace).

It is a joke.  I’ve said it before, and I will say it again.  Denmark has become a joke

But anyway, its not just ‘their’ country,  This is MY country.  I want better for the people here.

And still, change is on the way.  We have a lot of spiteful and competitive people running our business.  We vote them in and pay our taxes and we let them fritter it all away. For every hour we slave, we slave another to fill the coffers.  And what are we getting for it now?

We receive what is becoming substandard medical services and we are expected to be grateful, to compare ourselves to lands where tax is not paid and hospitals are dirty.

Our local schools are being closed by the score.  Our children herded into huge over crowded schools instead, where they jostle over books and old time computers.   Old people are dying in their beds due to neglect (inside story).  We are getting shot at, desperate people are robbing our homes.  Bollox to the misleading and harmful myth that Denmark is all windmills and the Little Mermaid.

COP15 was a success, the icing on the cake being the Greenpeace activists who managed to show the farce up for what it is.  Kudos to those imprisoned for speaking from the street side of the struggle.  And kudos to all of those who got arrested, please write your stories down.

It is going to be interesting to see how Denmark tries to reclaim it’s pride after such a dramatic fall, but my point has been, Denmark needs to lose pride in itself.  Denial is a part of the problem here.  Puffing oneself up about Denmark is a major mistakenly thing to do.

The Danish tourist board will try to make ends meet,  and the Danish who want to hear it will hear that Denmark is now on the ‘map’.  Denmark is not on the map for being a tolerant country, and Denmark is not on the map for being a country that can organize and facilitate agreements.  The last two weeks have removed the myth.  I am glad that Denmark is now in the map for being intolerant and ineffectual.

So, there is a lot of work to do, if you care to do the work, reclaiming the power might not be such a bad idea.  Start by looking at where your tax kroners are going, and if you are happy with the service you are getting, and if not, MAKE SOME NOISE.

(Obviously, this message does not apply to the majority.)

Danish journalists ask Obama how he likes the snow.

Earlier today, Danish journalists approached Obama’s aides to ask if it was possible to film a segment showing Obama’s reactions to “seeing snow for the first time in his life”.

The journalists were immediately clubbed to the ground and beaten to an unrecognizable pulp by Obama’s aides, a passing cleaning lady, President Mugabwe and a partridge in a pear tree.

Speaking later through a special device that allows people only slightly above being in a vegetative state to communicate with the world (copyright Lego) one of the journalists gave the following statement:

“We don’t know what went wrong.  One minute we were asking if we could film Obama enjoying his first ever sighting of snow, and the next we were being beaten to an unrecognizable pulp. This just isn’t democratic, and one might wonder,  what has happened to free speech?”

A spokesperson for the Danish Journalism Association gave the following statement (translated from DanishEnglish into English by googletranslate) :   “For the following 24 hours we are going to suspend any more filming of people from the poor lands who are in Denmark for COP15 and enjoying seeing snow for the first time ever.”

A 24 year old student from one of the poor lands making all the trouble, who doesnt want to be named for fear of reprisal, gave the following statement: “I don’t know what all the fuss is about.  I have been filmed twice this week by two seperate Danish news teams seeing snow for the first time in my life.   It is incredible. I have only ever seen snow on TV before, and I imagined it to have the texture of cotton wool.  But it is in fact,  cold and wet!  Thankyou Denmark, thankyou for snow.”

Denmark shoots itself in foot, and airs dirty laundry in public.

I’ve been thinking about how the law in Denmark has affected us. There have been so many laws passed hurriedly of late, and I am no longer amazed at how little this affects the overwhelming majority of people who live here,  Danes might be aware of changes being made on their behalf, but they aren’t making any great moves to stop them.  We are having our rights rapidly legislated out of our reach, and very little is being done to counteract these changes in the law.  There is little visible protest.

The new law ‘lømmelpakken’ that allows the police new powers of arrest has threatened to wipe out any further protests in Denmark.

The law as it was has been working, we were afraid to speak out.  Denmark 1,  Foreigners,  Activists,  Dreamers and Oddballs:  0.

I found out about the demo’s relating to COP15 through word of mouth and chance encounters.   I hadn’t planned to attend any open protests or demonstrations.   I have seen the way protesters are handled here,  it is a worry, and then came the new law, adding insult to injury.

But what is it I was afraid of?

Honestly? At the front of my mind was that I have a health condition that requires me to receive treatment on the spot should I need it, and I’d seen how the police here handle protesters, roughly – would I survive that?

I had a nightmare image of myself firstly getting arrested for just being at a protest, secondly getting pepper sprayed due to reacting to being arrested for just being at a protest and thirdly then dying on a cold cement floor due to not getting the medical treatment when I needed it.

I was also afraid of losing everything through getting into ‘trouble’.  Not just the being arrested sort of trouble, but the being known as a protester sort of trouble.  I was too afraid of the repercussions to actually get out there in all seriousness.  Of course I was joking when I said that Denmark needs a kick up the arse,  please, don’t write that down.

I did,  however, attend a small demo recently,  in another part of Denmark, and noticed straight off, the laughably obvious plain clothes policemen and women milling around the pre gathering space (a busy train station) and eyeballing the colorful teenage anarchists and revolutionary types before they moved onto the start of the little march.  This concerned me,  because I was also being eyeballed. It must have been my big wooly hat.  Oh shucks, is that me fucked then?  Is that me on some kind of list???  I certainly hope not.  After all, I am innocent.

I stood and listened to the initial speeches, did the march,  kept my mouth shut abstaining from any chanting or shouted calls for revolution,  and then slipped away when the march reached its conclusion and so didn’t stay to hear the follow up speeches.

That was about as much as I could ‘risk’.  I was glad to meet the people who did march on. Though a small gathering, there was a great atmosphere within the ranks of the protesters,  but peering out to the shopping crowds who lined the streets to let us pass, I saw a lot of disgust on the faces of the Danish populace.  Grey lined angry faces openly sneering, making remarks.  Old and young,  they sneered.  I haven’t encountered such unanimous hostility before.  That shocked me,  because there was such a contrast between the rainbow loving vibe of the marchers and the grey horror of the spectators.

I am not going to judge anyone for not taking part in a demo, because it does take some sacrifice to do such a thing.  But my concern is that protest is being crushed altogether in Denmark, there is too much resistance to being disobedient.  We need to remember to protest.  To be brave where we haven’t been brave before.

COP 15 will end, and those of us who have set up home here will be left with what we’ve got.  Without the international influence, the legendary 100,000 people strong march on the 12th in Copenhagen would not have happened.

See, protest in Denmark has long been a paltry affair.  The Danes do stand up now,  but only in small numbers and then they sit down quickly.  If they don’t, they get beaten by the system one way or the other.  How can I prove this?  By compromising the trust of the people I know who have been beaten into submission here, by telling stories of threats from above and sanctions being placed and families and jobs at stake?  Nah.  So, I guess you will have to take my word for it if you don’t already know for sure. Stepping outside the system in Denmark takes more than just guts, it takes support,  hard cash and nerves of steel.  Most of us buckle and cow tow.

The fear in protest here was not brought about this month,  Denmark’s been hard on protest for a long while..  I remember on a visit to a friend in Århus in 2006, stumbling across an anti racist march.  It was certainly only a very small group of harassed looking young people.

I was taken aback because I saw the police before I protesters, they were out in force,  so many of them, and their vans parked in a peculiar formation to one side, and a line upon line of politi to the other.  And such a small group of kids!

I approached one of the marchers, a more mature looker,  and asked him very naively why he hadn’t organised them into a bigger group to warrant the police attention?  He did smile, it was a joke after all, but his face was strained.   He walked on with the group. I remember  the fear in his eyes and the way he kept his daunted gaze on the police gathering.

The way the politi had placed themselves and their vehicles,  it was confrontational.   Jokeworthy if it hadn’t of been pantcrappingworthy.  I seem to remember hearing dogs barking from within vans too.  It was over the top.

Fear and tension permeated the air,  and I decided to ask a politi man what was up with the dramatic police presence.  I asked him why the police were there in force,  and responded to his reticence by telling him I assumed it was to protect the children so they could have their wee demo in peace.  I’d heard there was a nazi demo in town the same day,  and the nazis in Denmark do a fair bit of ‘perker-lover’ battering,  alledgedly.  How NICE of the popopoliti to protect the protesters.   I said.

Anyway, the policeman was well tense and he got a bit annoyed with me.  I had essentially joined the protest.  He basically told me to hop it.  Said I was preventing him from doing his job, which was, um, towering above a bedraggled gaggle of teenagers in his stab proof vest.

The rumor was that the nazis that day were treated differently, that they got a police escort, where the anti racists got the police presence.   I have to believe what the anti racists say,  because let’s be frank, they are the sanest.

The Danish police are under fire for what they have done.  Yet they are under orders, from the top.  The Danske Folke Parti (Danish Peoples Party) have been too quiet since COP15,  this I don’t get,  but my suspicion is that they have been sitting back with popcorn.

The Danish press have shown photo series that appear to glorify the police role in the protests.  This is an attempt to make the police people look good, when in fact, they look very very bad.

On a one to one basis,  I’ve never been badly treated by a policeperson, in fact, they always seem to be on my side,  but right now, that doesn’t mean I will resist the urge to protest where possible.  In future I hope to add my support in person to the people who dare.

I’d rather be the person falling from the top of a  police van, after having his brains beat out by a policeman, than the policeman who is standing watching the falling guy with a sneer of satisfaction shown visibly behind his helmet mask.  And yes, the numbers were clear.

What I won’t continue to do, is to sit in fear.

The ‘lømmepakke’  demo arrest law giving the police the powers to detain people with no due cause may have frightened a good many of us off momentarily (many are scared off),  but who can listen to reports of friends being attacked, and not stand up and do or say SOMETHING?

Thankfully, the word is now out, draconian methods of control are at work here,  as revealed in the excellent article by Bibi van der Zee for The Guardian:  ‘Activists reveal tactics used by police to ‘decapitate’ CPH climate protests’.

There are many who are shocked and scared into being quiet and submissive in Denmark,  and yet there is likely to be a number of people who have been radicalized by the recent proceedings and politi-ical brutality.

This could be a wake up call.  Sure we are losing rights, but that doesn’t mean we are finished.

So..um…Take the power back.

*runs for the border*

Come to Denmark and discover the free spirited, relaxed and tolerant attitude to life.

We Danes have been voted the happiest in the world!

Come to Denmark and discover the free spirited, relaxed and tolerant attitude to life.

You’ll feel free,  Free the Dane in You!  Denmark – Feel Free!  VISIT DENMARK!

FILM OF ‘SMARTLY DRESSED’ DELEGATES FROM BELLA BEING BEATEN UP BY POLICE – LOL.

Oh dear! The fate of the world lies in Denmark’s hands! Start hoarding food and fuel.

It’s just revealed itself to me.  Some idiot put the fate  of the world in Denmark’s hands.

We are all gonna go to Bilka in a Basket.

Did you hear this one:

“Today, many developing countries are leaving the centre again to join protesters outside. Also today, civil society organisations including Friends of the Earth, Avaaz and Tck Tck Tck have been thrown out of the conference. Incredibly, delegates and media have been told they will lose their accreditation if they talk to these banned NGOs. No credible justification has been given for this behaviour.”

- Nick Deardon and Tim Jones,  ‘Copenhagen, the sound of silence’,  The Guardian.

I’ll come back to this another time, but hands up anyone else who has ever experienced this cutting off of undesirables and the subtle or not so subtle threat of excommunication if you talk to them while in Denmark?  I know of myself and others,  and we’ve talked about it and not been able to remember when this has happened elsewhere, and I am wondering, could this be yet another ‘Oddity of the Modern Danish System’?

Global Feedback: “Denmark is losing its reputation for being a good world citizen.”

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8415387.stm

Say what you like about crusties and protesters on ‘your streets’ in ‘your nation’ on ‘your land’,  you have to face the fact, that your modern Danish democratically empowered police action looks freaking bad in all the reasonable press.

I am thrilled to report that the word is now out.  There is something wrong and rotten in Denmark and it is the overwhelming majority of people.  Their one hope is education.  Adopt a Danish child today!  For just 700 dollars a month a Danish child can recieve a proper education, elsewhere, but not here!  Support the new generation!  Get them out of the dastardly hole they are in!

And let me just take this moment to say that this is what Denmark has become, and certainly not what it was.  Of course the seeds were always there, you know, all that pig meat….what it does to the digestion.

It’s such a tiny place,  with so few people here, it makes sense that this sort of thing (see video in link) can’t stand unchallenged.

I am not going to say all police are wankers, or all crusties are crustie,  but I will say:  the majority in Denmark won’t flinch at the sight of the protesters getting whacked.  For every person I hear speaking of the overtly aggressive and unreasonable attitude of the governing and organizational forces at work in Denmark today, there is a Dane somewhere, rubbing his big fat belly, and saying “Quite right!  We don’t want that lot here!” and calling for his mail order bride to get him another beer.

So stick it up your arse Denmark.  Your politics suck and it’s got to the point where Enhedslisten are about the only viable option, and they are never gonna get voted in are they?

I refuse to live in a country like this, and I am not leaving.  Not until there has been a slight improvement anyway.

Big kisses to all the beautifuls who had the gutz to protest at any stage during this whole COP 15 debacle:  you have done a great job,  sparked a lot of newsworthy actions and brought what is happening out in the open.

The main news of the season has been the protests:  RESULT.

http://bambuser.com/channel/DRNyheder

http://politiken.dk/klima/Topmode_i_Kobenhavn/article861441.ece -  Delegates in shock due to getting battered by Danish Police:  “We didn’t expect this in Denmark!”  Haha, because you watch OPRAH?

Edit:  NEW YORK TIMES COVERAGE OF HUMAN RIGHTS INFRINGEMENTS IN DENMARK TODAY – “As the police vans advanced, skirmishes broke out with protesters who formed human chains and chanted their commitment to nonviolence and to helping people in parts of the world that they said would be hardest hit by climate change.”   and  “Another member of the protest group, Richard Bernard, said he expected arrests and possible clashes with police. “Danish police have been violating human rights all week,” he said.”

GUARDIAN COVERAGE: “Denmark is losing its reputation for being a good world citizen,” Naomi Klein.

CNN Very Brilliant Photo series on todays demo.

Copenhagen: the sound of silence

Denmark’s reputation is being destroyed by police action outside the summit and the gagging of NGOs and poor nations inside

Denish Government Statement: Unemployed muslim women will lose their unemployment/welfare support, if they do not stop doing Islam with headscarves.

Islamaphobes (“oooooo scarey beards and headscarves oooooo coming to take out jobs and ruin christmas ooooo”) will love the latest news about how Denmark plans to treat ‘the muslim race’.

Muslim women stand to lose their welfare/unemployment support,  if they don’t take jobs given by employers who require muslim women to remove their headscarves in order to work for them.

A politician from the elected ‘Venstre Social Democrat’ leaders stated in parliament that there are conditions attached to the reception of welfare/unemployment support and one of them is that a claimant is available for work.

And that a person claiming welfare/unemployment support isn’t available for work if they possess ‘qualities’ that prevent the claimant from taking ‘ordinary work’.

And that one of the ‘qualities’ that prevent a muslim woman from getting work is her headscarf,  so it’s time to take out the trash and teach these women a lesson.  If they don’t take off their head gear,  they can bloody well whistle for their money and starve hahahahahahaha.  That’ll teach them.

A clear message from our bosses at the Parliament:  wearing a headscarf is no excuse:  you take it off if you want your cheque.

But hold on a minute?!!  Couldn’t this affect ordinary folk?

What about those ordinary folk who are not doing Islam who have found it is their RESPONSIBILITY to acclimate to the Danish way of life?  Those who have been studying who the Danes are?  Who have been learning Danish and aligning their practices with the Danish standards?  Who believe that the Danes established this country and the Danish system long before their arrival?

What about those ordinary folk, those self confessed non-muslims who ask:   “who am I to demand that the Danes just accept me with open arms?”  It’s a valid point.  Why should the Danes accept you foreigners with open arms?  #1: You talk funny.  It’s an instant barrier.

Anyway,  It is not about conforming, but rather having respect for this country that you chose to enter…or not choose to enter in the case of people who ended up coming here to take refuge when it was any port in a storm.  So come on, respect the country,  and do whatever you are told, and for crying out loud, work on that accent.

And  listen up all you cancer stricken who wear headscarves!  Those who are finding working a difficulty and need to claim government support.  No excuses now!   Get that scarf off your head… Mind you,it’s not just any old headscarf you aint allowed, it is specifically the MUSLIM headscarf.

So now I am starting to wonder.  Can a woman wearing a MUSLIM headscarf be excused from seeking work or excused from being penalised for wearing her headscarf if she has cancer? At what stage is a person recovering from cancer expected to stop wearing muslimesque headgear and get back to work?  Will she then still get her cheque?  Or will she be told that a doctors note will be almost sufficient, but that she has to change her head gear from being ‘arab looking’ to the more modern cancer cap?

See, Denmark is about progress.

And that means that women who need to claim unemployment benefit will be penalised for not removing their headscarf…unless they can prove they have cancer perhaps?  Even then, I reckon that what it boils down to is that a sick woman is preferable in Denmark to a muslim woman.  I don’t know why that is.  They’d rather have them dying than praying on a mat.  And what with cancer recovery rates in DK being what they are..whole thing stinks.

Funny old world.

Protest is futile.

“Jailing of Tadzio bang out of order” Says Lawyer.

But you know, one person can’t make a difference.  Now sit back, open another bag of potato chips and enjoy the rest of your pitiful powerless excuse of a life….

STOP PRESS!STOP PRESS!STOP PRESS!

High level interview with high level popoliceperson now translated to Engrish for benefit of our lesser readers:

A sweetie factory cum communal vegetairan dwelling place was raided and ransacked today and a number of cycles taken away by the Purleaze.

A high level popoliceperson was compelled to give a reason for the action and he stated that the cycles were in fact illegal, in his head anyway.

“THIS BIKE IS NOT A LEGAL MODEL!”  He said.  “We believe,  we believe,  we believe, we do believe that they will use it for something….NOT legal!  In COPENHAGEN!”

Like … uh…what, for example?

“Yeah BUT, this is what you see around Europe, and then we make an assessment…”

What is it the police think is illegal?

“Is it to cycle on,  when you find it on Lærkevej?  NO. Just like when you find somebody who wears a gasmask, and has pliers and masks,  you know, so we know it’s for something wery NOT legal.”

What sort of illegal activities do you honestly think you can use the cycles for?

“Um, well, we don’t know yet.  Ask my mum.  She’s over there, making the sandwiches.”

Mum indeed.

AND your mom.

To which I’d like to add:

Mr High Level Popo?

DID you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

AND:

YOUR MOM ….. is so dumb,  she sat on the TV and watched the SOFA.

In other news today…

http://politiken.dk/klima/Topmode_i_Kobenhavn/article860763.ece

“There is something wrong in Denmark.”

Well hellloooo, what took you so long?

Latest News from Jokenhagen: Tadzio Müller, spokeperson for Climate Justice Action, arrested shortly after a press conference given from within the Bella Center. Denmark getting funnier.

Line Barfod of Enhedslisten has spoken out against the arrest calling it undemocratic.

The increasingly brown nosed Social Democrats *spit* had this to say via the massive mouth oracle wisdom of Karen Hackitup to Line:

“Karen H. (Social *pass the sick bag* Democrats) suggests that it is Enhedslisten that has a problem, when Line Barfod involves herself in police work.

Said Karen:  “Politicians should keep their mouths shut in these days.  We are politicians and not the police.  If the police think that it is necessary to  carry out preventative arrests to hinder bonfires and burning in the streets, then they must do that.”

Karen, you are such an idiot.

The right wing government in Denmark said exactly the same thing, almost the same wording,  just a bit of a shuffle,  and one can almost see the strings being pulled…

Kim Anderson of Venstre (the government) said:  “When the police carry out a preventative arrest,  it is because the police have  a special reason or strong suspicions about the man”.

Well,you know what people? The only way to really fight the jackboot of facism when you are living with it is to get inside jobs, keep your face, hands and habits clean and slowly but surely sabotage the system from within.  Oh, and influence people (CHECK!).

Oh but, in saying that, do I risk arrest?  I am not suggesting that people visibly storm buildings, but I would urge you all to sabotage when you can, just so long as you won’t get caught for it.  I suppose that is an old idea though, and I am not the first to think of it.  I would never suggest *fans reddening face maddeningly* that anybody do something visibly illegal!  Goodness me!

*yawn*

My job is already done.  It was done the minute I opened my mouth.

Contrary to what the Social Venstre Democrats say we should do, I think everybody should get their mouths open.  Not shut.

“The new detention without reason laws work wery well.” Popo speaksperson, today, Chrisitana.

The ‘hooligan package’ law hurried through slightly before the COP15 debacle began have proved to be very effective at halting the tide of rising tide of crime and protest and wooly hats n drums in COPENHAGEN the last week.

The popolice have been able to effectively single out and arrest vast numbers of as sin n guilty individuals with blood, tar and tahini on their hands.  Using up to the date high tech and sleek Danshsis designed implements (water cannons, tear gas and dog with spikey spikey tooth) the AUTHORITY have been much able to CONSTRICT and control and basically prevent unrest and unsleepiness in bed.  Wery wery fine.

Over the past few days at least 5789 practitioners of the number one threat to life and limb, the wanton gaylords of ACTIVIST PROTESTATIONS have been detained under the very good reason of no good reason IN COPENHAGEN.

Tonight the wery successful popolice action was able to QUELL and subtract the activists from the bosom of the hotbed of Chrisitana where all the wild things go.  In this way the PUBIC is protected from their dogs on string, the smell of damp wool and their repetitive bongo beats for chrissakes go onanere instead, what is UP with the midnight drumming? Men.  pah.  And their bongos.  Enough already with the bongos.  We get it.  BONGOS.

Popolice dashed in tonight ALL DRESSED UP and at first hint of trouble were able through technology and law to put out a burning fence.   With a tractor.

So all in all, a very successful night, go back to sleep Denmark, your streets are safe once more.  No more burny burny fency.

Wery fine.

Naomi Klein YOU ROCK. Headline: “The Danish need for control is a real problem.”

‘The Danish need for control is a real problem.’ – tell me about it, LOL!

‘DANISH NEED FOR CONTROL IS STIFLING CLIMATE DEBATE’ -Front page of The Guardian online.

I didn’t vote for Endhedlisten, but….

…Johanne Schmidt-Nielsen would get my vote today.  Very impressed with the interview she gave TV2 regarding the insane tactics of the Venstre Police.

A brilliant speaker, and a trustworthy option.

Do you know, Johanne convinced me to BELIEVE in democracy tonight. She is one helluva convincing speaker.

I am not into that ‘all police are wankers’ business, just as I know not every activist drawn to a demo is clear about their reasons for attending, you know, but we have to draw the line somewhere.  There were a lot of very young faces at this demo,  the participants were in essence, baby faced.    It is totally unfair that the police are allowed to be masked and the kids are not.  Come on guys, you can’t be the only superheros in town!!!

I am loving the conversations and debate coming out of the absolute embarrassment and shame of the heavy handed politics here.  AT LAST!  Maybe this place isn’t such a waste of time?  Maybe the Danes will start getting off their arses and doing something?

The only problem is, I can now see why people from Copenhagen have a problem with the Jutlanders…it is the Jutlanders who vote the Venstre in.  And they do this because they are not cultured.   Jeeze, I even heard that in Jutland it is normal to have a picture of Fogh Rasmussen hanging up somewhere in your house, where there should be a picture of the Pope, or Obama.  WEIRDOS!

I’d love to be proven wrong about the Jutlanders.   Tell me they haven’t all got Fogh Rasmussen ‘friended’ on their facebooks?

And why, it was only four months ago that I believed Jutlanders to be superior to the people from Copenhagen, but then I um,  met a whole bunch of Copenhageners who challenged that fossilized viewpoint.

I have been proven wrong about Democracy (with thanks to Johanne Schmidt-Nielsen).  And perhaps it is only when we are truly threatened that we rise up to our fullest stature and discover that we do have something we want to fight for.  Or that we are actually still Catholic, as I discover every time I meet a dangerous patch of driving on the motorway, and start reciting my hail marys without even thinking.

Maybe I do believe in Democracy after all.  I’ll wait until the end of this week to find out.

So yeah, proven wrong about religion, proven wrong about democracy and hope, proven wrong about Jutlanders v Copenhageners,  but yeah, no surprises when it comes to the Venstre Police of Denmark. Or people who think Fogh Rasmussen is a beacon of light.

I hope though, that the police continue as they have, and make lots more silly arrests (hahahaha..did you hear that they arrested MONKS???) because they are playing right into my hands.

*maniacal laughter*

Oh and PS:  remember, if you are new to Denmark and come from a culture where it is normal to control your youngsters by hitting them or by sitting on them or forcing them into submission, remember in Denmark, parents are forbidden to do that.  Rest assured if your children do begin to really play up and do naughty things, the police will come and beat them up for you. It’s all part of the service.  Enjoy xxxx

“So called Uto-pia, where I can’t find no culture.”

Not that keen on the video, LOL, but the song is great…does anyone know who the artist is?

So the arrests and cat and mouse continues,  hardly surprising. The movement to block the harbor today was very effective, if with a predictable conclusion.  Those poor police people look terrified, there is of course a part of my heart that goes out of them.  It’s the part of my heart I reserve for those humans in combat situations.

I overheard two OLD Danish dames talking about it, and they were talking about the big guy against the little guy.  These naughtier activists have sparked some great conversations so RESULT!

Excuse me while i go all Denish on yo asses, but this is great, this means we can all have lots of DIALOG!!!!!!

Not too keen on the bedlam today though, I’ve just had a fried egg sandwich (fair trade of course) that disagreed with me. Need to lie down in a dark room with a cooling flannel on my delicate brow.

ROLIG!!!!   ALLE SAMMEN!!!  ROLIG!ROLIG!ROLIG!

*sigh*

That’s the Denish out the way then.

All the Beautiful People.

It’s The People non elected who have made the COP15 thang a place of beauty and hope, as yesterdays huge demonstration of love for Planet Earth Life showed.

The arrests of nearly a thousand people, and the way in which these people were detained show Denmark’s agenda for what it is, and the incident has horrified a-plenty.  As with all major transgressions of justice in Denmark, the event will blow over and by this time next week,  everybody will have forgotten about it and be just getting their heads down, trying to hold onto their jobs and keeping a steady pace in their lane of the ratrace.

But yesterday stands as a success,  that people would come out in force and risk arrest to show loudly their feelings, and to stand up against what people call Capitalism, and what I call Greed.

Here is an excellent post from a Lady Activist who attended the demo,  and who describes the predominant love vibe:

Copenhagen Follies:  A DEMO DREAM.

The Climate Guantanamo. This is what ‘Danish Democracy looks like anno 2009′

Danish Democracy.

Journo to arrested peaceful protester: “Why have you been arrested?”

Peaceful Protester:  “They haven’t told us and we haven’t done anything so we don’t know and I don’t think they know either.  But I guess this is what Danish Democracy anno 2009 looks like.”

Journo:  “Why do you think you were chosen out of the crowd?”

Peaceful Protester:  “I have no idea and I don’t think the police officer knew either.”

Journo:  “What have they asked you for so far?”

Peaceful protester:  “They haven’t asked me for nothing but to follow them and to sit down.”

An eyewitness account:

“a group of us from london joined the main climate demonstration which headed off at 2pm and marched near the libertarian socialist block (note not a black block). After heading over the bridge next to christiania the march was fairly arbitarily boxed in by full riot police; it was massively fast and there was no warning. Everyone from masked people to green ngo’s and the danish section of the CWI were boxed in. Its pretty random as a great number of anarchists, with red and black flags were well ahead of the line. As the back line formed a couple of things were tossed, but this was well after the operation had begun – there is no question at all this was in reponse *to* things being thrown, the police vans were ready in the side street at the back and a line had already formed at the front before anything was chucked. The police have stated this was responisve mass arrest to attacks on a ministry and even suggested attempted arson on a car – if this happened it was miles away from the group they boxed in. I cannot vouch it did not happen, but it certainly didn’t happen at the time and place given.

The blocked section has been held for several hours now – lots of people have now returned to support them, but they pushed them several blocks back. In the gap between the supporters and the mass arrest they brought in two lines of attack dogs. They are arresting people in great numbers, everyone is sat on the floor with their hands cable tied, sat in straight rows. They are then loading them onto buses in the side street. I have seen them breaking up placrds and loading them into police vans along with random protest detritis, which could be used as evidence of weapons. “

My take on it, being someone who isn’t there, is just what the pictures and basic facts tell me, what people are telling me online  and that is that the police ‘handled’ the situation in a very inhumane way.

In the process of doing so, they handled it in such a way that the international eye is reporting the police action as questionable..  And Connie Hedegaard is a dick.

I haven’t got much more to say on the matter (Did I mention that Connie Hedegaard is a dick?) except that it was bang out of order to arrest such huge numbers of people (hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds) and then keep them handcuffed and seated on cold tarmac in MID FUCKING December,  for hours.  People were frozen and pissing themselves.  The police had their dogs out too, it was all really tragic, and it is highly likely this will cause more trouble than calm.

WRONGFUL ARREST now supported by the Danish law.

Roll out the bedlam.

excuse me MISTER.

very good, very good.

It started out very civilized like and soon became bedlam:  HOORAY!

Join the army and be with attractive people. Sure beats your life in Jutland.

Look at these beautiful lithe and svelte young people.  WOAH that guy is HOT. Look at the fun they are having,  they are so cool, they are really living.  Look at the strain those khaki pants are showing when that fair haired girl tumbles into the mire,  she is so FINE.  Would ya look at how those gorgeous fit kids can handle a gun, and handle a skateboard,  drop a bomb, have a refreshing drink and hang out, wear lipstick a la mode and have lovely smooth glossy skin?

Their skin is so clear, their eyes are so bright, their skin is so nice and glossy.

Nice and glossy?  Their skin will be nice and glossy when they are lying in their effing graves.   Shipping them back from Afuckinghanistan?  THE ARMY?    This advert??  Children watching it saying:  Mammy, I want to go there, that looks cool, like in a computer game cool, like a computer game and a film rolled into one.  Their frontal lobes not in their heads and they are lured into the army in all their daftness.

The above video is the latest in advertizing to entice hopeless hapless children to buy into a life as killing machines. Time to mobilize the Danski Childrens’ Army.

And lets face it, jobs are getting thin on the ground for the youth of this happy happy land.

Life is tough right now for the young generation.  The army still offers an EXPERIENCE.  When you join the army you get laid and have sexy mud fights with fair haired girls whose do not have double chins.  This is the reality, don’t doubt it for a second.

I suspect there won’t be any trouble tomorrow,  I suspect that the Arsethorities in Dunmark have got it all sorted,  the worst that will happen is the usual…lots of kids getting hit over the head and gassed.  You know, because ‘In Denmark we don’t hit kids’….whoops,  meaning:  only the kids who won’t do as they are TOLD.

I’ll just stay in my armchair and finish off the embroidery detail of the balaclava my granny knitted me shall I?  I tell ya, it takes pure grit to pace oneself.  I just have to finish breast feeding the twins (some time in 2012) and then I will be donning this here balaclava and protesting about SOMETHING.  I just hope i haven’t missed the boat.

Masters of War.

I don’t like to mention my dylanism, what with Bob Dylan being a Danshish Darling,    (see:  ‘Danes love to talk about Bob Dylan Lyrics’) But this song,  ‘Masters of War’  is rather apt for today’s  COPBOLLOX12/09  mood.  And here are they lyrics just in case you don’t speak Dylanese.

“Come you masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build the big bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks

You that never done nothin’
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it’s your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
And you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly

Like Judas of old
You lie and deceive
A world war can be won
You want me to believe
But I see through your eyes
And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water
That runs down my drain

You fasten the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you set back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion
As young people’s blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud

You’ve thrown the worst fear
That can ever be hurled
Fear to bring children
Into the world
For threatening my baby
Unborn and unnamed
You ain’t worth the blood
That runs in your veins

How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I’m young
You might say I’m unlearned
But there’s one thing I know
Though I’m younger than you
Even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do

Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul

And I hope that you die
And your death’ll come soon
I will follow your casket
In the pale afternoon
And I’ll watch while you’re lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I’ll stand o’er your grave
‘Til I’m sure that you’re dead”

Police raid sleeping quarters of several hundred activists CPH 3am

fucking activists again

In the wee small hours of last night,  a group of police clad bigtime in riot gear,  stomped up to the sleeping quarters of a place in CPH housing several hundred slumbering so called ‘activists’ from around the world.

The shame of it is that according to a spokeswoman for the ‘Climate Justice Action’ group, there was a ‘dialogue system’ in place which should have allowed for the riot police to give the CJA a little tinkle on the telephone to warn the activists “Alloalloallo!  We are on our way, put your knickers on!”

But no.  Riot police forgot all about a deal in the bumrush and couldn’t resist it.  Anyway, they were in search of DANGER.  And,  allegedly,  WEAPONS.

They did find a few teddy bears and the odd soft blanket,  but no real DANGER.  So after about an hour (allegedly) they left with some power tools,  a raw plug that was all bent out of shape, and some drawing pins.  All of which could of course be made into weapons of mass destruction if we don’t keep hassling these criminals who decide to take the law into their own hands.  God DAMN those suffragettes!!  God DAMN THEM TO HELL.

Thank god for our sensitive security services, ridding the world of one power tool at a time, and keeping US all safe in our beds at night, by waking up sleeping climate activists.

Those activists need to be stamped out and forced to eat yesterdays ryebread and fishpaste.

I say:  send em back where they came from!  We don’t want you long haired perka lovers here:  so don’t think we’ll roll out the red carpet FOR YOU!

Oh and hahahaha, did you hear the one about the carefully worded document that suggested that the poor people suck it up?  Yeah, me too.  A friend translated it for me, because she much better to engrish than me am.  But it was clear,  BUSINESS AS USUAL,  and sod the poor,  just their karma innit?

And remember folks…activists could be all around you. Keep an eye open, and remember to report any suspicious activity to your local law enforcers, we just can’t take any chances in this climate of fear and terror.

Think of the children,  folks, think of the children.

Links to informative news (obviously give the DanePress a wide berth):

With up to 30,000 activists gathering in Copenhagen, there are five key days when the Danish authorities will be preparing for trouble

Danish Police raid CPH climate campaigners’ rooms

AN ACTIVIST’S GUIDE TO COPENHAGEN.

The activists’ circus comes to CPH.

GAZA’S CHILDREN.

STRESS: How Danes milk their overtaxing system.

Danes like to talk about ’stress’.  They take it very seriously.

You will begin to meet A LOT of Danes who are not at work because of ’stress’.  Their job was too hard,  they were unhappy, they were putting on weight.

Stress is real.  It is out there.  And it is coming to get you if you are not careful.

And your employer will be very supportive.  Your employer will not say:

“You are just being feckng lazy,  get your arse off the floor and get on with it!”

Your boss will say:

“I understand.  I have had stress too.  Then I went on a healing course and I drew some mandalas and I spoke to a psychologist and found out that I am a type B person and now I am fine..but you have to watch that stress!  It is so real.”

And your neighbours will say:

“Oh stress!  We have that.”

And you won’t feel so special any more, because stress is real and that tiny little sneaking feeling you had that you are making it all up because you want to stay home farting and watching Oprah on tv will go away.

Danes like to talk about stress.  Because it is part of their lives, and because it is another way to get a day off.

Foreigners and muslims aren’t really allowed to talk about stress though,  because they should be grateful and if they find it so bleeding stressful here why don’t they leave?  Or rather, shouldn’t they STAY now we have paid so much for them to be here through our taxes??  I mean,  after all, it is perfectly alright to support stressed out Danshish to have a little holiday or to find themselves but to pay for muslims and foreigners to go on with their lives in a less stressful way after we have PAID for them?  Oh my goodness,  no, sorry, no, but that just takes the biscuit.  And I am speaking as a high powered respectable person.

IF foreigners have stress it is because they actually have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  They are then mental.

Danes with stress get stress ostensibly because they have been ‘overdoing’ it.

And it’s all out in the open, nothing to be ashamed of.

My advice?

Make lots of impressed ooohing and ahhing noises and cooing sympathetic noises when a Denish person begins to ‘open up’ about their stress experience.  Encourage them to put themselves first and take time to get over their stress.  Explain to them that they cannot do everything and that it is necessary to take stress seriously.  It is very real and it means you can watch Oprah.

Top Searches.

I’m bored.

There is nothing going on in Denmark.  NOTHING.

So to amuse myself I looked at searches that bring people to this blog corner,  here are the latest:

“brigitte nielsen”

“eva braun”

“my canadian husband doesn’t understand danish culture”

“birgit nielsen”

As I said, I am bored. NOTHING ever happens here.